-- Softaculous SQL Dump
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--
-- Table structure for table `wpdv_commentmeta`
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-- Table structure for table `wpdv_comments`
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(1, 1, 'A WordPress Commenter', 'wapuu@wordpress.example', 'https://wordpress.org/', '', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', 'Hi, this is a comment.\nTo get started with moderating, editing, and deleting comments, please visit the Comments screen in the dashboard.\nCommenter avatars come from <a href="https://gravatar.com">Gravatar</a>.', 0, '1', '', '', 0, 0);

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(2, 'home', 'http://suicidehelplines.org', 'yes'),
(3, 'blogname', 'Suicide Helplines', 'yes'),
(4, 'blogdescription', 'Suicide Helplines', 'yes'),
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(80, 'widget_rss', 'a:0:{}', 'yes'),
(81, 'uninstall_plugins', 'a:0:{}', 'no'),
(82, 'timezone_string', '', 'yes'),
(83, 'page_for_posts', '0', 'yes'),
(84, 'page_on_front', '0', 'yes'),
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(91, 'wp_page_for_privacy_policy', '3', 'yes'),
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(93, 'initial_db_version', '44719', 'yes'),
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(95, 'fresh_site', '1', 'yes'),
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(97, 'widget_recent-posts', 'a:2:{i:2;a:2:{s:5:"title";s:0:"";s:6:"number";i:5;}s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(98, 'widget_recent-comments', 'a:2:{i:2;a:2:{s:5:"title";s:0:"";s:6:"number";i:5;}s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(99, 'widget_archives', 'a:2:{i:2;a:3:{s:5:"title";s:0:"";s:5:"count";i:0;s:8:"dropdown";i:0;}s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(100, 'widget_meta', 'a:2:{i:2;a:1:{s:5:"title";s:0:"";}s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(101, 'sidebars_widgets', 'a:3:{s:19:"wp_inactive_widgets";a:0:{}s:9:"sidebar-1";a:6:{i:0;s:8:"search-2";i:1;s:14:"recent-posts-2";i:2;s:17:"recent-comments-2";i:3;s:10:"archives-2";i:4;s:12:"categories-2";i:5;s:6:"meta-2";}s:13:"array_version";i:3;}', 'yes'),
(102, 'widget_pages', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(103, 'widget_calendar', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(104, 'widget_media_audio', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(105, 'widget_media_image', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(106, 'widget_media_gallery', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(107, 'widget_media_video', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(108, 'widget_tag_cloud', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(109, 'widget_nav_menu', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(110, 'widget_custom_html', 'a:1:{s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
(111, 'cron', 'a:2:{i:1667772421;a:4:{s:34:"wp_privacy_delete_old_export_files";a:1:{s:32:"40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a";a:3:{s:8:"schedule";s:6:"hourly";s:4:"args";a:0:{}s:8:"interval";i:3600;}}s:16:"wp_version_check";a:1:{s:32:"40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a";a:3:{s:8:"schedule";s:10:"twicedaily";s:4:"args";a:0:{}s:8:"interval";i:43200;}}s:17:"wp_update_plugins";a:1:{s:32:"40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a";a:3:{s:8:"schedule";s:10:"twicedaily";s:4:"args";a:0:{}s:8:"interval";i:43200;}}s:16:"wp_update_themes";a:1:{s:32:"40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a";a:3:{s:8:"schedule";s:10:"twicedaily";s:4:"args";a:0:{}s:8:"interval";i:43200;}}}s:7:"version";i:2;}', 'yes'),
(112, 'theme_mods_twentynineteen', 'a:1:{s:18:"custom_css_post_id";i:-1;}', 'yes');

-- --------------------------------------------------------

--
-- Table structure for table `wpdv_postmeta`
--

CREATE TABLE `wpdv_postmeta` (
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INSERT INTO `wpdv_postmeta` VALUES
(1, 2, '_wp_page_template', 'default'),
(2, 3, '_wp_page_template', 'default');

-- --------------------------------------------------------

--
-- Table structure for table `wpdv_posts`
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CREATE TABLE `wpdv_posts` (
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  `to_ping` text NOT NULL,
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  PRIMARY KEY (`ID`),
  KEY `post_name` (`post_name`(191)),
  KEY `type_status_date` (`post_type`,`post_status`,`post_date`,`ID`),
  KEY `post_parent` (`post_parent`),
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) ENGINE=InnoDB  DEFAULT CHARSET=utf8;

--
-- Dumping data for table `wpdv_posts`
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INSERT INTO `wpdv_posts` VALUES
(1, 1, '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!</p>\n<!-- /wp:paragraph -->', 'Hello world!', '', 'publish', 'open', 'open', '', 'hello-world', '', '', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '', 0, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=1', 0, 'post', '', 1),
(2, 1, '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>This is an example page. It''s different from a blog post because it will stay in one place and will show up in your site navigation (in most themes). Most people start with an About page that introduces them to potential site visitors. It might say something like this:</p>\n<!-- /wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:quote -->\n<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>Hi there! I''m a bike messenger by day, aspiring actor by night, and this is my website. I live in Los Angeles, have a great dog named Jack, and I like pi&#241;a coladas. (And gettin'' caught in the rain.)</p></blockquote>\n<!-- /wp:quote -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>...or something like this:</p>\n<!-- /wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:quote -->\n<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>The XYZ Doohickey Company was founded in 1971, and has been providing quality doohickeys to the public ever since. Located in Gotham City, XYZ employs over 2,000 people and does all kinds of awesome things for the Gotham community.</p></blockquote>\n<!-- /wp:quote -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>As a new WordPress user, you should go to <a href="http://suicidehelplines.org/wp-admin/">your dashboard</a> to delete this page and create new pages for your content. Have fun!</p>\n<!-- /wp:paragraph -->', 'Sample Page', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'sample-page', '', '', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '', 0, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=2', 0, 'page', '', 0),
(3, 1, '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '<!-- wp:heading --><h2>Who we are</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>Our website address is: http://suicidehelplines.org.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading --><h2>What personal data we collect and why we collect it</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>Comments</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor&#8217;s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: https://automattic.com/privacy/. After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>Media</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>If you upload images to the website, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>Contact forms</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>Cookies</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>If you leave a comment on our site you may opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>If you have an account and you log in to this site, we will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>When you log in, we will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select &quot;Remember Me&quot;, your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>Embedded content from other websites</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>Analytics</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading --><h2>Who we share your data with</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading --><h2>How long we retain your data</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading --><h2>What rights you have over your data</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data we hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that we erase any personal data we hold about you. This does not include any data we are obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading --><h2>Where we send your data</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><p>Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service.</p><!-- /wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading --><h2>Your contact information</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading --><h2>Additional information</h2><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>How we protect your data</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>What data breach procedures we have in place</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>What third parties we receive data from</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data</h3><!-- /wp:heading --><!-- wp:heading {"level":3} --><h3>Industry regulatory disclosure requirements</h3><!-- /wp:heading -->', 'Privacy Policy', '', 'draft', 'closed', 'open', '', 'privacy-policy', '', '', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '2022-11-06 22:07:01', '', 0, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=3', 0, 'page', '', 0);

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-- --------------------------------------------------------

--
-- Table structure for table `wp_links`
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  `link_rel` varchar(255) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
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(9, 'http://twincity-healingrooms.org', 'Twin Cities Healing Rooms', '', '', 0, '', 'Y', 1, 0, '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', '', ''),
(10, 'http://www.abortion-options.org', 'Abortion Options', '', '', 0, '', 'Y', 1, 0, '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', '', ''),
(11, 'http://www.reallovenow.com', 'Real Love Now', '', '', 0, '', 'Y', 1, 0, '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', '', ''),
(12, 'http://www.addiction-help.org', 'Sexual Addiction Help', '', '', 0, '', 'Y', 1, 0, '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', '', ''),
(13, 'http://www.takingbackchristmas.org', 'Taking Back Christmas', '', '', 0, '', 'Y', 1, 0, '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', '', ''),
(14, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=18', 'Terms And Conditions', '', '', 0, '', 'Y', 1, 0, '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', '', ''),
(15, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=20', 'Privacy Policy', '', '', 0, '', 'Y', 1, 0, '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', '', '');

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(18, 'default_category', '1', 'yes'),
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(73, 'medium_size_w', '300', 'yes'),
(74, 'medium_size_h', '300', 'yes'),
(75, 'avatar_default', 'mystery', 'yes'),
(78, 'large_size_w', '1024', 'yes'),
(79, 'large_size_h', '1024', 'yes'),
(80, 'image_default_link_type', 'file', 'yes'),
(81, 'image_default_size', '', 'yes'),
(82, 'image_default_align', '', 'yes'),
(83, 'close_comments_for_old_posts', '', 'yes'),
(84, 'close_comments_days_old', '14', 'yes'),
(85, 'thread_comments', '', 'yes'),
(86, 'thread_comments_depth', '5', 'yes'),
(87, 'page_comments', '1', 'yes'),
(88, 'comments_per_page', '50', 'yes'),
(89, 'default_comments_page', 'newest', 'yes'),
(90, 'comment_order', 'asc', 'yes'),
(91, 'use_ssl', '0', 'yes'),
(92, 'sticky_posts', 'a:0:{}', 'yes'),
(93, 'widget_categories', 'a:2:{i:1;a:0:{}s:12:"_multiwidget";i:1;}', 'yes'),
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I don;t have any redirects activated so not sure why it is doing this?</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:11:"garethroo81";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:2;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:76:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/nav-menu-edits-and-indexnow-is-slooooow/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:39:"Nav Menu edits and IndexNow is slooooow";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:76:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/nav-menu-edits-and-indexnow-is-slooooow/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Fri, 19 Jul 2024 00:17:23 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:1539:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>Hi,</p>\n\n\n\n<p>We have ran into a problem with the IndexNow setting enabled when doing edits to a number of menu items. Such as renaming about 20 menu entries can take 90 seconds or longer vs 10 seconds with it disabled. WP is basically idle while waiting for tons of IndexNow API calls to complete. Sometimes this will cause the edit to time out. While we can increase the time out settings even higher, I don&#8217;t think the risk can be fully mitigated if the IndexNow API is having trouble. Is there any way to defer the IndexNow changes to a future wp_cron task so that the nav menu changes doesn&#8217;t block on them? It would also help improve those working on the site as they&#8217;re not waiting for 2+ minutes for the changes to complete.<br /><br />Thanks!</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hal</p>\n\n\n<ul id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17899874" class="bbp-topic-revision-log">\n\n	<li id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17899874-item-17899878" class="bbp-topic-revision-log-item">\n		This topic was modified 2 weeks ago by <a href="https://wordpress.org/support/users/netwisp/" title="View netwisp&#039;s profile" class="bbp-author-link"><span  class="bbp-author-name">netwisp</span></a>.\n	</li>\n	<li id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17899874-item-17899880" class="bbp-topic-revision-log-item">\n		This topic was modified 2 weeks ago by <a href="https://wordpress.org/support/users/netwisp/" title="View netwisp&#039;s profile" class="bbp-author-link"><span  class="bbp-author-name">netwisp</span></a>.\n	</li>\n\n</ul>\n\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:7:"netwisp";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:3;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:69:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/woocomerce-product-sitemap-issue/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:32:"Woocomerce Product sitemap issue";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:69:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/woocomerce-product-sitemap-issue/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sat, 13 Jul 2024 20:15:59 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:216:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 12</p>\n						<p>I am facing issue in WordPress Products sitemap  also you can check on this site <a href="https://techprice.pk/" rel="nofollow ugc">https://techprice.pk/</a></p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:8:"gbkhaan1";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:4;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:80:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/google-search-console-couldnt-fetch-problem/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:197:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Google Search Console &amp;#8220;couldn&amp;#8217;t fetch&amp;#8221; Problem";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:80:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/google-search-console-couldnt-fetch-problem/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Thu, 11 Jul 2024 11:38:29 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:1262:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 3</p>\n						<p>Hello everyone, </p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have read the posts about Google Search Console not being able to fetch the sitemap, and have try to follow the solutions but I can&#8217;t seem to get it to work. The Sitemap is reachable, even from the SC link. I have removed and re-entered the sitemap, recreated it a bunch of times&#8230; I don&#8217;t know what else to do. This has been going on for months now.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>For context: I changed hosting some months ago and did a new site from scratch in WP. It used to be an adobe muse site. Since then I have had trouble with the SC still trying to fetch the old pages. and crawling and indexing haven&#8217;t been working correctly. But there are no error in the SC, besides not indexing anything besides the main page.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope finally getting the Sitemap on SC helps fix the problems.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Therror in the Sitemaps page of SC is &#8220;Sitemap could not be read&#8221; (/sitemap.xml). I&#8217;ve tried using the .html address, but it says its an unsupported format (or something like that).</p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is an extremely simple site. Any help would be greatly appreciated! </p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href="https://criolla.eu" rel="nofollow ugc">https://criolla.eu</a></p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:9:"jevallejo";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:5;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:50:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/change-url-50/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:131:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Change URL";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:50:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/change-url-50/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Tue, 09 Jul 2024 19:04:08 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:1025:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>I have successfully changed the main URL thanks to the <em>Override the base URL of the sitemap</em> option. However, when I visit the sub xml files, the URL isn&#8217;t overwritten. Is there an easy way to achieve this?</p>\n\n\n\n<p>To make my example clearer, the main file (/sitemap.xml) displays the URLs this way, which is what I want :</p>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>&lt;sitemap&gt;<br />&lt;loc&gt;https://www.domain.com/sitemap-misc.xml&lt;/loc&gt;<br />&lt;lastmod&gt;2024-07-09T01:19:50+00:00&lt;/lastmod&gt;<br />&lt;/sitemap&gt;</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<p>However, when I visit the sitemap in question, I get this :</p>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>&lt;url&gt;<br />&lt;loc&gt;https://www.subdomain.domain.com/&lt;/loc&gt;<br />&lt;changefreq&gt;daily&lt;/changefreq&gt;<br />&lt;priority&gt;1.0&lt;/priority&gt;<br />&lt;/url&gt;</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<p>I would like to also change the sitemap-misc.xml, post-sitemap.xml and page-sitemap.xml if possible.</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:15:"Yannick Fortier";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:6;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/display-sitemap-in-a-wordpress-page/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:156:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Display sitemap in a wordpress page";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/display-sitemap-in-a-wordpress-page/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Tue, 09 Jul 2024 12:43:23 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:152:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>Is there is any shortcode available for this plugin to display the sitemap in a single page ? </p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:8:"akhils96";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:7;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:54:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/sitemap-error-118/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:134:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;SItemap error";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:54:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/sitemap-error-118/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sun, 07 Jul 2024 18:50:42 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:311:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 2</p>\n						<p>Hi, </p>\n\n\n\n<p>just saw that Google can not read my sitemap with 12.600 pages. Error message is &#8220;Incorrect http header content-type: &#8220;text/html; charset=UTF-8&#8221; (expected: &#8220;application/xml&#8221;).</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Would appreciate help.</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:9:"sandra051";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:8;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:74:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/google-search-console-sitemap-problem/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:37:"Google Search console sitemap problem";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:74:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/google-search-console-sitemap-problem/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sat, 06 Jul 2024 09:55:53 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:841:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 7</p>\n						<p>Hi, </p>\n\n\n\n<p>The number of pages on my site grew from around 5000 a view months ago, to now over 16.000.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>After each pages import, I submitted my sitemap to googel search console (a few dayslater ). I always get the Status successful, but since May now, the total number of pages recognized, always remained the same at 8.051. Even though, the correct sitemap is in google.</p>\n\n\n<ul id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17872491" class="bbp-topic-revision-log">\n\n	<li id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17872491-item-17872492" class="bbp-topic-revision-log-item">\n		This topic was modified 3 weeks, 5 days ago by <a href="https://wordpress.org/support/users/andyk71/" title="View andyk71&#039;s profile" class="bbp-author-link"><span  class="bbp-author-name">andyk71</span></a>.\n	</li>\n\n</ul>\n\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:7:"andyk71";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:9;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:85:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/automatic-visit-of-the-sitemap-by-search-engines/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:169:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Automatic visit of the sitemap by search engines";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:85:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/automatic-visit-of-the-sitemap-by-search-engines/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sat, 06 Jul 2024 08:45:28 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:258:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 10</p>\n						<p>Today, I create my site map manually and I clean the url that are not necessary to discover the site. Does the Siteweb generator XML plugin automatically create the website and also does the cleanup?</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:9:"juli609wp";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:10;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:97:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/incompatibility-with-polylang-and-language-based-child-pages/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:60:"Incompatibility with Polylang and Language-Based Child Pages";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:97:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/incompatibility-with-polylang-and-language-based-child-pages/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Tue, 02 Jul 2024 16:24:24 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:968:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 5</p>\n						<p><strong>Description:</strong><br />I am using the XML Sitemap Generator for Google plugin in conjunction with Polylang. It appears that the plugin is not handling language-based child pages correctly.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, instead of generating links like /en-nz/policies/security-policy, it produces links such as /en-nz/security-policy/security-policy.</p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Details:</strong><br />I am unable to modify the permalink behavior because the sm_xml_sitemap_post_url filter is applied before the site languages modifications by Polylang.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Related code: <a href="https://github.com/Auctollo/google-sitemap-generator/blob/ebb0a687a50430f9558c060cafab933a48d64da8/class-googlesitemapgeneratorstandardbuilder.php#L268" rel="nofollow ugc">https://github.com/Auctollo/google-sitemap-generator/blob/ebb0a687a50430f9558c060cafab933a48d64da8/class-googlesitemapgeneratorstandardbuilder.php#L268</a></p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:11:"Anton Lukin";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:11;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:86:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/why-is-the-post-sitemap-xml-list-in-reverse-order/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:170:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Why is the post-sitemap.xml list in reverse order";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:86:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/why-is-the-post-sitemap-xml-list-in-reverse-order/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Tue, 02 Jul 2024 03:05:31 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:334:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 5</p>\n						<p>Why is the post-sitemap.xml list in reverse order? ? ? ? This is a serious problem after the upgrade.<br />Normally, the latest articles are at the front and the old articles are at the end. Now it is completely reversed. How can I set it correctly? ? ?</p>\n\n\n\n<p>thank you。</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:7:"btwlzyq";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:12;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/some-recent-bugs-and-one-suggestion/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:156:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Some recent bugs and one suggestion";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/some-recent-bugs-and-one-suggestion/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sun, 23 Jun 2024 01:39:30 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:974:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 3</p>\n						<p>I have used this plugin for years, but I have found recently it’s buggy in that when I enter the ID’s of the pages/posts to be excluded, it’s no longer storing them in the list. Upon refresh they are gone. In addition, the excluded pages/posts are still showing in the sitemap. With having a protected membership site, this is a problem.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have cleared the cache on the site and re-entered the ID list, but there is no change. I toggled include categories to see if that made a change and it took it fine. So it’s updating, but just not correctly.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Last thing I noticed is new categories to exclude always show up at the bottom of the list, making it not user-friendly to have to scroll down and find it (if you remember to do that). I would suggest making an option of exclude all categories except these ones (in my case, it would be exclude all but General, since it is a members site).</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:14:"starbucksamore";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:13;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:64:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/where-is-the-images-sitemap/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:149:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Where is the images Sitemap?";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:64:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/where-is-the-images-sitemap/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Fri, 21 Jun 2024 10:46:58 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:301:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 3</p>\n						<p>Hi, and congratulations for your excellent plugin, we use it in all our projects. The reason for the query is that we cannot find the url of the images sitemap and the html sitemap to add them to our robots.txt, thank you very much in advance.</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:33:"Directorio de empresas españolas";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:14;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/additional-url-xml-to-sitemap-index/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:156:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Additional url.xml to sitemap index";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/additional-url-xml-to-sitemap-index/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Wed, 19 Jun 2024 16:23:02 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:1552:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>Hi,</p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>until the v4.1.13</strong> the additional url, that i added using the code below, works fine. It added the url to the sitemap index (it was like this <a href="http://mysite.test/api/sitemap-places.xml" rel="nofollow ugc">http://mysite.test/api/sitemap-places.xml</a>) and inside of it the list of other urls added with add_url. Now, <strong>from v4.1.14 to v4.1.20</strong> using the same code below, it adds the url as <a href="http://mysite.test/api/places.xml" rel="nofollow ugc">http://mysite.test/api/places.xml</a> and once opened i get 404 not found. I saw your documentation and i also tried to use the add_filter(&#8216;sm_sitemap_index&#8217; ,&#8230;.) but nothing changed.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ty</p>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>function addToIndex($sitemapGenerator){</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>    $sitemapGenerator-&gt;add_sitemap("places", null, current_time( ''timestamp''));</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>}</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>function addToPlaces($sitemapGenerator, $type){<br /><br />    if($type &lt;&gt; ''places''){<br />        return;<br /><br />    }<br /><br />    $sitemapGenerator-&gt;add_url(<br />...<br /><br />    );<br /><br />}</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>add_action(''sm_build_index'', ''addToIndex'', 1, 1);</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>add_action(''sm_build_content'', ''addBpmBranchesToSitemap'', 1, 2);</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<p></p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:6:"amot99";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:15;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/any-filter-or-hook-to-override-tags/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:157:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Any Filter or Hook to Override Tags?";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:72:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/any-filter-or-hook-to-override-tags/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Wed, 19 Jun 2024 15:13:05 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:656:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 2</p>\n						<p>Hi Team,</p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the plugin there&#8217;s a feature for excluding only categories but not tags .So is there any hooks or filters from which  we can override the same at theme level ?</p>\n\n\n<ul id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17836345" class="bbp-topic-revision-log">\n\n	<li id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17836345-item-17836347" class="bbp-topic-revision-log-item">\n		This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by <a href="https://wordpress.org/support/users/ankur2024sr/" title="View ankur2024sr&#039;s profile" class="bbp-author-link"><span  class="bbp-author-name">ankur2024sr</span></a>.\n	</li>\n\n</ul>\n\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:11:"ankur2024sr";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:16;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:65:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/google-unable-to-see-sitemap/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:149:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Google unable to see sitemap";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:65:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/google-unable-to-see-sitemap/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Mon, 17 Jun 2024 12:48:07 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:288:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 6</p>\n						<p>123reg hosting tell me that the sitemap doesn&#8217;t automatically get saved to the right location for Google to access.<br />They have to physically save it for me<br />How do I get the sitemap.xml file using this plugin please?</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:11:"sinkingfast";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:17;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:66:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/couldnt-fetch-sitemap-error-2/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:159:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Couldn&amp;#8217;t Fetch Sitemap Error";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:66:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/couldnt-fetch-sitemap-error-2/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sun, 16 Jun 2024 20:16:33 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:221:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>Hello,</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I can&#8217;t believe you have still not found a solution to the &#8220;couldn&#8217;t fetch&#8221; sitemap error in GSC.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shame on you. </p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:10:"davidwoolf";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:18;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:50:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/sitemap-video/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:134:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Sitemap video";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:50:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/sitemap-video/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sun, 16 Jun 2024 16:07:45 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:278:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>Hi guys, I&#8217;m going from Yoast&#8217;s sitemap to yours, in the hope that the videos on the pages will also be included in the sitemap.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is possible?<br />If so, how can I check it?</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thank you</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:10:"bizzarro81";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:19;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:77:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/still-doesnt-work-with-custom-taxonomies/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:172:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Still Doesn&amp;#8217;t Work With Custom Taxonomies";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:77:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/still-doesnt-work-with-custom-taxonomies/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Fri, 14 Jun 2024 21:22:58 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:489:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 8</p>\n						<p>I&#8217;ve been stuck with a very old version of this plugin (4.1.7) because this still doesn&#8217;t fully support custom taxonomies. Today&#8217;s release (4.1.20) got slightly better, but it still has two problems:</p>\n\n\n\n<ol>\n<li>It only generates sitemaps for two of my three custom taxonomies. (It previously did none of them.)</li>\n\n\n\n<li>It only includes terms that have associated posts. (Which is not what I need.)</li>\n</ol>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:10:"rexsorgatz";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:20;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:106:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/one-or-more-plugins-conflict-with-proper-indexation-of-your-website-2/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:188:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;One or more plugins conflict with proper indexation of your website";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:106:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/one-or-more-plugins-conflict-with-proper-indexation-of-your-website-2/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Fri, 14 Jun 2024 16:50:40 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:1479:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 3</p>\n						<p>After updating to the latest version of this plugin 4.1.20, the following false positive warning is still showing at the top of the WordPress dashboard:</p>\n\n\n\n<p>One or more plugins conflict with proper indexation of your website. Use the deactivate button below to disable the extra sitemaps:</p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>WordPress Sitemap</li>\n</ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Also using All In One SEO 4.6.4 (latest version) (sitemaps aren&#8217;t enabled through this plugin).</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I did raise this issue a while back:</p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href="https://wordpress.org/support/topic/one-or-more-plugins-conflict-with-proper-indexation-of-your-website/" rel="ugc">https://wordpress.org/support/topic/one-or-more-plugins-conflict-with-proper-indexation-of-your-website/</a></p>\n\n\n\n<p>If we roll back to 4.1.13, this false positive warning doesn&#8217;t appear.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Would you be able to look into this, and if you have a fix, happy to apply the fix, until this is fixed in a later update of this plugin.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kind Regards,</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Andy</p>\n\n\n<ul id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17826089" class="bbp-topic-revision-log">\n\n	<li id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17826089-item-17826101" class="bbp-topic-revision-log-item">\n		This topic was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by <a href="https://wordpress.org/support/users/andrew1977/" title="View Andrew1977&#039;s profile" class="bbp-author-link"><span  class="bbp-author-name">Andrew1977</span></a>.\n	</li>\n\n</ul>\n\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:10:"Andrew1977";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:21;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:64:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/excluding-posts-not-working/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:148:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;excluding posts not working";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:64:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/excluding-posts-not-working/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Fri, 14 Jun 2024 15:46:07 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:113:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 5</p>\n						<p>Since the last update, certain posts cannot be excluded</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:14:"ertanbozkurt81";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:22;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:54:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/404-not-found-165/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:134:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;404 not found";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:54:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/404-not-found-165/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Thu, 06 Jun 2024 08:30:28 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:146:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>the sitemap URL is not created, do you know what it might be the issue?</p>\n\n\n\n<p>thanks</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:6:"foriaa";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:23;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:55:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/sitemap-is-blank-6/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:137:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Sitemap is blank";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:55:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/sitemap-is-blank-6/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Mon, 03 Jun 2024 17:44:35 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:444:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>The sitemap shown is blank. When I try to submit to Google it also shows an error and when I click it again says empty sitemap.  I&#8217;m not sure what is causing this. I checked with the server and they said it should all be fine and I shouldn&#8217;t need anything at the server level or in my htaccess form. So I&#8217;m not sure what to do next. Any guidance would be appreciated. </p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:11:"adpronaugle";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:24;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:97:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/two-strings-use-the-esc_html-function-and-are-not-translated/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:183:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Two strings use the esc_html() function and are not translated";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:97:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/two-strings-use-the-esc_html-function-and-are-not-translated/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sat, 01 Jun 2024 11:33:31 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:507:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>Hello.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Two strings in this line use the <strong>esc_html()</strong> function and are not translated:</p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href="https://plugins.trac.wordpress.org/browser/google-sitemap-generator/tags/4.1.19/class-googlesitemapgeneratorui.php#L1526" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow ugc">https://plugins.trac.wordpress.org/browser/google-sitemap-generator/tags/4.1.19/class-googlesitemapgeneratorui.php#L1526</a></p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thanks.</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:8:"itapress";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:25;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:65:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/tags-do-not-load-all-of-them/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:149:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Tags do not load all of them";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:65:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/tags-do-not-load-all-of-them/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Fri, 31 May 2024 17:43:08 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:492:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>HI</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once more I tried your sitemap and was glad because the problem with tags and categories that do not load simultaneously in &#8220;pt&#8221; and &#8220;en&#8221; was solved. It is ok now. But….why do tags stop loading after /tag/plxxxx. Al tags I have after &#8220;pl&#8221; are out of the sitemap. There is something to solve that. There is a limited number of tags in the sitemap?</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Regards</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fernando</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:6:"colfer";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:26;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:92:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/home-page-id-is-automatically-entered-in-excluded-items/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:176:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Home Page ID is automatically entered in Excluded Items";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:92:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/home-page-id-is-automatically-entered-in-excluded-items/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Mon, 27 May 2024 13:57:24 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:1152:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 5</p>\n						<p>I have been using this plugin Google XML Sitemaps with Generate Press Theme for a long time, but on the settings screen of the plugin Google XML Sitemaps, the front page (top page) ID of a certain page is automatically set to &#8220;Excluded item posts&#8221;. (Individual articles) are entered in the &#8220;Do not include:&#8221; column.<br />If you update the created post page or fixed page, the ID will be entered without permission. Even if you delete the ID and update the settings, the ID will be re-entered.<br />I recently updated the plugin to the latest version Google XML Sitemaps (version 4.1.19), but the issue is not fixed.</p>\n\n\n\n<ol>\n<li>Is there a way to fix the problem so that IDs cannot be entered without permission?</li>\n\n\n\n<li>How can I use Google XML sitemap for Google News?</li>\n\n\n\n<li>My website Url is :<a href="https://www.placementstore.com/robots.txt" rel="nofollow ugc">https://www.placementstore.com/</a></li>\n\n\n\n<li>My robots.txt is : <a href="https://www.placementstore.com/robots.txt" rel="nofollow ugc">https://www.placementstore.com/robots.txt</a></li>\n</ol>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:12:"Rajesh Antil";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:27;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:66:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/help-fixing-breadcrumb-issues/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:150:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Help fixing breadcrumb issues";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:66:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/help-fixing-breadcrumb-issues/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Wed, 22 May 2024 18:46:27 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:357:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>When I check with Google Search Console, I see that 28 pages on my site have the same breadcrumbs issue. which is keeping them from being indexed.  It is described as &#8220;Missing field &#8220;item&#8221; (in &#8220;itemListElement&#8221;)&#8221;.<br /><br />How do I fix this problem?<br /><br /></p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:13:"tomatobob1138";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:28;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:99:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/plugin-suggestion-performance-for-sites-with-millions-of-posts/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:217:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Plugin suggestion &amp;#8211; Performance &amp;#8211; Fatal error: Allowed memory size exhausted";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:99:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/plugin-suggestion-performance-for-sites-with-millions-of-posts/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Sat, 18 May 2024 20:46:49 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:4234:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 1</p>\n						<p>As of v4.1.19, <code>google-sitemap-generator/class-googlesitemapgeneratorstandardbuilder.php</code> file inside the <code>build_posts</code> function, the plugin currently fetches all posts and then uses <code>array_slice</code> for offsetting.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>This will work fine for sites with a small number of posts, however, as the number of posts increases, such that maybe post-sitemap1000.xml, this will have a huge memory footprint since we are slicing further into the array and handling a large number of posts.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eventually, depending on the allocated WordPress memory, the function will run out of memory the further the slicing goes into the array.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Referring to <code>$posts      = array_slice( $posts, ( $limit - $links_per_page )</code></p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Current code</strong></p>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>			// Statement to query the actual posts for this post type.\n			$qs = "\n				SELECT\n					p.ID,\n					p.post_author,\n					p.post_status,\n					p.post_name,\n					p.post_parent,\n					p.post_type,\n					p.post_date,\n					p.post_date_gmt,\n					p.post_modified,\n					p.post_modified_gmt,\n					p.comment_count\n				FROM\n					{$wpdb-&gt;posts} p\n				WHERE\n					p.post_password = ''''\n					AND p.post_type = ''%s''\n					AND p.post_status = ''publish''\n					{$ex_post_s_q_l}\n					{$ex_cat_s_q_l}\n				ORDER BY\n					p.post_date_gmt DESC\n				LIMIT\n					{$limit}\n			";\n			// Query for counting all relevant posts for this post type.\n			$qsc = "\n				SELECT\n					COUNT(*)\n				FROM\n					{$wpdb-&gt;posts} p\n				WHERE\n					p.post_password = ''''\n					AND p.post_type = ''%s''\n					AND p.post_status = ''publish''\n					{$ex_post_s_q_l}\n					{$ex_cat_s_q_l}\n			";\n			// phpcs:disable\n			$q = $wpdb-&gt;prepare( $qs, $post_type );\n\n			// phpcs:enable\n			$posts      = $wpdb-&gt;get_results( $q ); // phpcs:ignore\n			$posts      = array_slice( $posts, ( $limit - $links_per_page ) );\n			$post_count = count( $posts );</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of fetching everything and then offsetting, why don&#8217;t we only fetch what we need. Use the database to offset instead of using PHP.</p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Proposed code</strong></p>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>			// Statement to query the actual posts for this post type.\n			$qs = "\n				SELECT\n					p.ID,\n					p.post_author,\n					p.post_status,\n					p.post_name,\n					p.post_parent,\n					p.post_type,\n					p.post_date,\n					p.post_date_gmt,\n					p.post_modified,\n					p.post_modified_gmt,\n					p.comment_count\n				FROM\n					{$wpdb-&gt;posts} p\n				WHERE\n					p.post_password = ''''\n					AND p.post_type = ''%s''\n					AND p.post_status = ''publish''\n					{$ex_post_s_q_l}\n					{$ex_cat_s_q_l}\n				ORDER BY\n					p.post_date_gmt DESC\n				LIMIT\n					%d, %d\n			";\n			// Query for counting all relevant posts for this post type.\n			$qsc = "\n				SELECT\n					COUNT(*)\n				FROM\n					{$wpdb-&gt;posts} p\n				WHERE\n					p.post_password = ''''\n					AND p.post_type = ''%s''\n					AND p.post_status = ''publish''\n					{$ex_post_s_q_l}\n					{$ex_cat_s_q_l}\n			";\n\n			// Calculate the offset based on the limit and links_per_page\n			$offset = max( 0, ( $limit - $links_per_page ) );\n\n			// phpcs:disable\n			$q = $wpdb-&gt;prepare( $qs, $post_type, $offset, $links_per_page );\n\n			// phpcs:enable\n			$posts = $wpdb-&gt;get_results( $q ); // phpcs:ignore\n			\n			$post_count = count( $posts );</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<p>During my tests, this solved memory leaks caused by huge datasets in the array, and could theoretically handle even post-sitemap9999.xml without timing out or running out of memory compared to the old code.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>This will also fix </p>\n\n\n\n<pre class="wp-block-code"><code>Fatal error: Allowed memory size of X bytes exhausted (tried to\nallocate X bytes)</code></pre>\n\n\n\n<p>Happy to discuss further.</p>\n\n\n<ul id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17765315" class="bbp-topic-revision-log">\n\n	<li id="bbp-topic-revision-log-17765315-item-17765319" class="bbp-topic-revision-log-item">\n		This topic was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by <a href="https://wordpress.org/support/users/humblearab/" title="View humblearab&#039;s profile" class="bbp-author-link"><span  class="bbp-author-name">humblearab</span></a>. Reason: improvement\n	</li>\n\n</ul>\n\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:10:"humblearab";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}i:29;a:6:{s:4:"data";s:67:"\n					\n					\n					\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n\n					\n					\n					\n				";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";s:5:"child";a:2:{s:0:"";a:5:{s:4:"guid";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:87:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/does-sitemap-xml-only-work-online-and-with-asgaros/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:5:"title";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:172:"&lt;span class=&quot;resolved&quot; aria-label=&quot;Resolved&quot; title=&quot;Topic is resolved.&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Does sitemap.xml only work online and with ASGAROS?";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:87:"https://wordpress.org/support/topic/does-sitemap-xml-only-work-online-and-with-asgaros/";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:7:"pubDate";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:31:"Thu, 16 May 2024 10:15:23 +0000";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}s:11:"description";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:809:"\n						\n						<p>Replies: 4</p>\n						<p>Hello everyone.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I installed &#8220;XML Sitemap Generator for Google&#8221; instead of the YOAST plugin because YOAST does not index the ASGAROS forum and when I open the sitemap, entries appear but when I want to see the entries &#8220;NOTHING&#8221; happens. The sitemap.xml works and stays in the same window.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Does the sitemap.xml only work online?</p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href="https://www.loom.com/share/f0aa306ef29e476d80311baa5e1e4d40?sid=605f2bb3-5373-45d1-a138-6bd1dc0aa6b9" rel="nofollow ugc">https://www.loom.com/share/f0aa306ef29e476d80311baa5e1e4d40?sid=605f2bb3-5373-45d1-a138-6bd1dc0aa6b9</a></p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Why does the sitemap.xml malfunction?</li>\n\n\n\n<li>Is the ASGAROS Forum indexed?</li>\n</ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Thank you, Klaus Wilde</p>\n						\n					";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}s:32:"http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/";a:1:{s:7:"creator";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:11:"Klaus Wilde";s:7:"attribs";a:0:{}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}}}s:27:"http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom";a:1:{s:4:"link";a:1:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"data";s:0:"";s:7:"attribs";a:1:{s:0:"";a:3:{s:4:"href";s:67:"https://wordpress.org/support/plugin/google-sitemap-generator/feed/";s:3:"rel";s:4:"self";s:4:"type";s:19:"application/rss+xml";}}s:8:"xml_base";s:0:"";s:17:"xml_base_explicit";b:0;s:8:"xml_lang";s:0:"";}}}}}}}}}}}}s:4:"type";i:128;s:7:"headers";O:48:"WpOrg\\Requests\\Utility\\CaseInsensitiveDictionary":1:{s:7:"\0*\0data";a:13:{s:6:"server";s:5:"nginx";s:4:"date";s:29:"Fri, 02 Aug 2024 04:21:42 GMT";s:12:"content-type";s:34:"application/rss+xml; charset=UTF-8";s:4:"vary";s:15:"Accept-Encoding";s:25:"strict-transport-security";s:12:"max-age=3600";s:7:"expires";s:29:"Wed, 11 Jan 1984 05:00:00 GMT";s:13:"cache-control";s:36:"no-cache, must-revalidate, max-age=0";s:6:"x-olaf";s:3:"⛄";s:12:"x-robots-tag";s:15:"noindex, follow";s:15:"x-frame-options";s:10:"SAMEORIGIN";s:16:"content-encoding";s:2:"br";s:7:"alt-svc";s:19:"h3=":443"; ma=86400";s:4:"x-nc";s:13:"EXPIRED ord 1";}}s:5:"build";s:14:"20211221010300";}', 'no');
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--

INSERT INTO `wp_posts` VALUES
(3, 1, '2009-02-16 15:41:43', '2009-02-16 23:41:43', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP?  (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (PS 139:14).  And, God has a plan for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" (John 10:10). Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" (John 8:44).</p>\r\n<p class="style2">"It is God who works in you both to will and do for you His good pleasure."  (Phil 2:13) <strong> You are special!</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!                                      <span style="color: #000000;">CALL </span> <strong> <span style="color: #33cccc;">612-379-1199</span></strong></p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'publish', 'open', 'open', '', '24-hour-prayer-conselors', '', '', '2012-12-07 09:04:39', '2012-12-07 17:04:39', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=3', 0, 'page', '', 0),
(4, 1, '2009-02-16 15:41:37', '2009-02-16 23:41:37', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!</p>', '24 Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'open', 'open', '', '3-revision', '', '', '2009-02-16 15:41:37', '2009-02-16 23:41:37', '', 3, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/3-revision', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(5, 1, '2009-02-16 15:58:05', '2009-02-16 23:58:05', '<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Emergency help (USA) - 911</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Suicide Prevention Center</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">612-347-2222</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">1-800-273-8255</span></p>', 'Links', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'links', '', '', '2016-08-27 09:35:38', '2016-08-27 17:35:38', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=5', 0, 'page', '', 0),
(6, 1, '2009-02-16 15:57:47', '2009-02-16 23:57:47', '', 'Links', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '5-revision-v1', '', '', '2009-02-16 15:57:47', '2009-02-16 23:57:47', '', 5, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/5-revision', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(7, 1, '2009-02-16 15:59:51', '2009-02-16 23:59:51', '<img style="float:right; padding:10px;" src="http://suicidehelplines.org/rosannepicture.jpg" alt="Roseanne" />My name is Rosanne and  I love to give my testimony, because I get to talk about Him - Jesus - The Lamb of God. My testimony can be summed up by Rev. 12:11 which states, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony."When you read this, you should know that I was married once before when I was very young and when I talk about a marriage in this document, I’m talking about my first marriage - - not my current marriage.”\r\n\r\nI have talked to many people who can’t seem to remember their early childhood.  My early years are indelibly etched in my mind.  In fact, I’ve asked God to let me repress the memories again like I did for about 20 years but He said, “No, I have healed your wounds, but I leave the scars so that you might be recognized by those who are still wounded.  Statistics tell us that in the general population, about 45% of all women have been abused in some way.  In prison, that number doubles - -  90% of the women in prison have survived some type of abuse.\r\n\r\nNow . . . I know . . . that children should be raised in an environment of love and nurturing and they should learn to trust - - but I wasn’t raised that way.The first time I was raped I was 4 years old.  That’s when fear entered my life for the first time and the first brick of my self-made prison was put in place. There were hundreds of attacks spanning more than 8 years of my young life.\r\n\r\nI think the most devastating thing about child abuse is that the victim carries the shame.  I could have been the poster child for shame and low self-esteem – bricks #2 and 3. I was seven years old the first time I tried to commit suicide.  My abusers threw some horse blankets over my shoulders and they forced me to climb to the top of the silo on the farm where I grew up.  I knew what was going to happen to me once I got to the top.  I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it was one of those times when your mind is saying one thing but your body is doing the opposite.  I was climbing, but my mind was screaming, “No.”  I was almost to the top when I decided to just let go of the ladder.  I remember feeling very much at peace during the fall.  There was an 8’ x 10’ concrete slab at the bottom of the ladder and I knew it would all be over soon.  But, there was this little pile of silage on the concrete and that’s what I landed on.  I only got the wind knocked out of me - - but at least I avoided the abuse that day.\r\n\r\nThoughts of death were constantly in my mind from that day forward – Brick #4. I became hypervigilant.  I would watch and I would have to be aware of everything that took place in that house.  If my mother started to put on her makeup, I knew she would be leaving soon and I had better figure out my hiding place.  As soon as the car left the driveway, I would take off.  I would run in one direction and then as soon as I was out of sight, I would change course hoping that they wouldn’t be able to figure out which direction I took.  I would hide in cornfields, oat fields, the barn, the grainery, old rusted out cars out in the pasture.\r\n\r\nSometimes I was successful at hiding myself.  Other times I was not.  One time, I think I was about 8 years old, my hiding place was discovered.  But, this time, instead of suicide, I decided they would have to kill me.  So I turned into a wild animal.  I kicked, I screamed, I bit, I scratched, I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I hit.  It was no use.  They were much bigger and stronger than I was.  But I didn’t care.  They weren’t going to do that to me again. Anger and rage took over my whole being – Bricks 5 and 6. They dragged me into the house and into the bedroom but they couldn’t get me to stop kicking and screaming.  So, they put a pillow over my face until I passed out.  When I woke up, I was sitting in a fetal position in the corner of the room hugging that very same pillow. Now, you can add the brick called hate to my prison wall.\r\n\r\nAfter that, I started to have recurring nightmares about pillows that were so heavy I couldn’t lift them off me. The nightmares came almost every night. It was about this time that I would have to say that my spirit was broken.  There was no fight left in me.  My abusers could do pretty much anything to me and I didn’t respond.  It was as though I could separate my mind from my body. The clinical term for this is disassociation. I was 10 the next time I attempted suicide.  My family was at a lake and I decided I would swim out and just never come back.  The ironic thing is that one of my abusers saved me.  Saved me - - for what? Now add the brick of fatalism to the wall. I had no hope.\r\n\r\nWhen I was 12, the abuse finally stopped.  My abusers moved away.  And I remember deciding - - I actually decided - - to repress the memories and not let them affect me.  That was easier said than done.I started drinking when I was 14.  I got in with a pretty wild bunch of kids.  We drank every chance we got - - weeknights, weekends, it didn’t matter.  We were involved in vandalism and shoplifting. I was jealous and resentful toward anybody who had nice things.  Two more bricks were added to my prison wall. I remember a high speed chase from the police and a hit-and-run accident. Add rebellion to the bricks in the wall.\r\n\r\nI had no boundaries in my life, not with what was right or wrong, not with what was good or bad, not with alcohol, not with sex, not with anything.  Once, I even took the morning after pill. I don’t know if I was pregnant or not but you can add a big brick called guilt. When I was 15, I was at a party up on the bluffs overlooking Red Wing.  That night, I decided I could fly.  So I took off running toward the edge of the bluff.  One of my drinking buddies tackled me.  He brought me back to the party and gave me another beer. That’s just the way it was so you can add the alcoholism brick to the wall.  My wall was getting higher and higher.\r\n\r\nI married one of those kids from the wild bunch.  And we had three children (My three children were three bright spots in my otherwise dark existence.  They are three more people who know everything about me and love me anyway.)  But, shortly after that my mother was killed by a drunk driver and, since my father was ill, I took over the care, custody and control (or lack of control I should say) of my three younger siblings.  I was only 24 years old and with my background, I knew nothing about raising teenagers and they all ended up running away and getting into trouble.  Another brick:  failure.\r\n\r\nA couple of years later, my father died. Two more bricks - - grief and sorrow. All the while, the drinking continued.  I could kind of control it during the week because I had to go to work, but the weekends were blackouts. All the stressors (family, finances, alcohol, my history of abuse) were all affecting the marriage.  Neither one of us knew anything about marriage or what it’s supposed to be.  And that became abusive as well. I vowed I would never trust another man for the rest of my life.  My walls just kept getting higher and higher. Another brick - - divorce was added. Don’t forget that I was holding all the bricks together with the mortar of depression and despair and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid prison cell.\r\n\r\nNow, some of you may know this, but, if you’re a thirty-something female and you go to the doctor and you tell him or her that you’re depressed, you can get pretty much any pill you want - - and I had them all.  I would try to take them as directed, but, of course, no pill could get to the root of my problem so I would take a few and the rest would end up in the medicine cabinet.\r\n\r\nI was 32 (20 years from the time I decided to repress the memories) and the nightmares came back  - - with a vengeance.   I couldn’t handle it anymore  - -   The lack of sleep – the nightmares - the pain - the anguish.   The load I was carrying was too heavy.  I knew I could take those pills that I had stored up in the medicine cabinet and it would all be over.  I could just go to sleep and never wake up. But, you see, I was raised Catholic.  My dear mother had dragged me to church every Sunday.  And I remembered the priests and the nuns talking about a loving Father God but I had no experience of a loving male of any kind.  I remembered my catecism and I remembered that the Catholic Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you’d go to hell.\r\n\r\nThe thought crossed my mind - - if there is a hell - - maybe, just maybe - - could there be a heaven?  A tiny crack had appeared in that prison wall. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll give God one more chance.  Because you see, I had prayed when I was a little girl.  I prayed that God would save me from my abusers.  I prayed that He would just kill them.  But He never answered those prayers.  What would make me think that He would answer now? But I thought, okay, I’ll give it one more day.  If nothing changed in the next 24 hours, I made up my mind that I would take the pills.  So, I put the pills back in the medicine cabinet and then, I prayed - - really honestly prayed for the first time in my life.  I had nothing to lose.  I said, “God, if you’re there, and if you care, then you’re going to have to prove it to me because I really don’t believe in you.”\r\n\r\nNothing happened so I went back to bed.  I was afraid of the nightmares so I was not trying to go to sleep.  I just started repeating the Lord’s Prayer in my head over and over again.  Anything to keep my mind occupied.  Then, out of nowhere, this thought popped into my head.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  The thought was in the form of a question.  It was, “What would be proof to you?” How strange, I thought.  And then I started thinking about what would be proof to me?  Then another thought popped into my head.  I remembered that little sentence that I heard a thousand times in the Mass when my mother would drag me to church on Sundays.  For those of you raised Catholic, you’ll know this.  It was, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I will be healed.” That’s it, I said.  Because I knew that I was not worthy.  There was no question about that.  So, I said, “If you can make me worthy to receive you, then I will believe.”\r\n\r\nSuddenly, I felt like I was floating and I know my conscious mind was there and alert because I remember thinking, “Well, of course, you’re floating, you’re laying on a water bed.”  But, it wasn’t like that.  I was floating in the air.  Then, just as suddenly, I was upright and I was walking.  With each step it seemed like I was traveling 500,000 miles.  I remember looking back and I could see the world.  It was surrounded by these black boiling clouds with thunder and lightning and it looked very cold and foreboding. But I was heading toward a bright light that looked warm and welcoming.  So, I kept going in that direction. When I got closer to the light, I was enveloped in it and when I got to the source of the light, I saw a man standing there.  He was looking out across the horizon as if he was waiting for someone, expecting someone.  I knew who He was.  And, I thought, I can’t be here.  I didn’t take the pills.  How could I be here?  Then, I realized that I was on holy ground and I was most certainly not holy so I looked for a rock or anything that I could hide under so He wouldn’t see me.  But, there was nothing to hide under and I realized that I couldn’t stop.  It was as if something like a magnet was attached to me right here in the middle and it was pulling me towards Him.\r\n\r\nI got to within about 4 feet of Him and I finally stopped.  Then His eyes fell on me and it was as if He was looking inside me, not at me.  Then, my life started to pass before me kind of in the space between us and I knew He could see it too. It started from that day and went backwards, yet every incident, every event took place in forward motion.  At first I was fascinated by it.  I wondered who made such a complete video of my life and then I realized it was coming from inside me.  I began to see the negative things in my life.  I saw the depression and the pain.  I saw the failed marriage.  I saw my poor mother and her heart that I had broken.  I saw the affairs, the partying and the drinking.  I saw the vandalism and the stealing, the cheating, the lying.  I saw all the people that I had hurt.  And then I began to see the attempted suicides, the beatings and the abuse.  And then I was 4 years old again and I saw where it all started. Then, I heard a sound.  It started out small at first but it kept growing and growing until I had to cover my ears.  It was the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard and then I realized where the scream was coming from.  It was coming from me.  It was all the rage and the hate and the fear coming out of me.  I started to cry and I looked at Him because I wanted Him to make it stop.   But, He was crying too.  And, I realized what I had been doing.  I had been blaming Him for the abuse.  That shattered little girl had prayed to Him and He hadn’t put a stop to it.  But, it wasn’t His fault.  He was not to blame.\r\n\r\nI realized, looking at His tears, who was truly to blame.  It was the enemy.  The one who hates innocence, who hates goodness, the one who only comes to steal, kill and destroy.  As soon as I realized that, He held out His hands to me and I could see the nail marks in His hands and they weren’t healed.  I don’t know why but I guess I thought they would be healed after all this time but they weren’t.  And He was saying, “I did this for you.”  But, I said, “Why, I’m not worth it.” Then this look came across His face as if I had slapped Him or something. I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  “You don’t understand.” He said.  “Because I did it, that’s what makes you worthy.” Then I realized that I had it all backwards.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to be worthy.  The only thing that could make me worthy was Him and Him crucified.  And I realized in that instant that if I had been the only person in the whole entire world to accept Him, He still would have done it.\r\n\r\nThen it was as if blinders fell off my eyes and He let me see myself.  He let me see what He could see when He looked inside me.  He let me see what my sins had done to my soul.  I looked and I could see these horrible things attached to my body.  They were everywhere, hundreds of them.  Some were scabbed over and black and dried up like pieces of coal.  Some were oozing greenish-yellowish puss.  And some were bright red as if they had just erupted.  I was disgusting.  I tried to get them off me but I couldn’t.  They were part of me. It was these ugly things that drove Him to do what He did - - and I was so sorry.  I was so sorry.  I truly repented for the first time in my life. Once He sensed my repentance, He just raised His right hand ever so slightly and I was out.  I have read about being slain in the spirit and I think that is what happened to me.\r\n\r\nThe next thing I knew I was floating above my body.  I could see myself laying on an alter.  I don’t know how I got there, except He must have carried me.  And, He was standing alongside the alter and I could see Him pass His hand over me like this. At first I was confused.  I didn’t know what He was doing.  Then, I understood, my soul finally knew its worth.  I understood the depth of His love.  I understood that He was abused too but He didn’t fight back.  When they came for Him, He didn’t hide.  When they beat Him, He didn’t try to run.  When they spat on Him and put the crown of thorns on His head, He didn’t call them names.  When they hung Him on the cross, He didn’t strike them dead with lightning.  Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”\r\n\r\nSo, who was I to withhold forgiveness?  Suddenly, my abusers were not my abusers anymore.  They were my brothers and I realized that they had been abused too.  Not only were they forgiven but I wanted them to find this same love that I had found. I understood what I had done with all those bricks in my life- the shame, the hate, the fear, the anger, the rage, the resentment, the unforgiveness, the mistrust, the depression, the despair.  I had used them to build walls around my heart.  I thought they were protecting me but they only served to keep me from the Only One who could truly help me. At that moment, I understood why His wounds weren’t healed.  I understood what He was doing.  He was washing me with His blood.\r\n\r\nHe took my sins and He cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west and He will remember them no more - - so why should I - - why should you? You see, God wants to break down the brick walls that might be separating you from Him.  He wants to draw you near to Him and heal your wounds.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be closer than a brother, a sister or a spouse to you.  Will you let Him?\r\n\r\nYou see, here’s the thing . . . He wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  He wants you to have the same peace and joy and love that I have found.', 'Rosanne''s Testimony', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'testimony', '', '', '2009-02-16 18:09:21', '2009-02-17 02:09:21', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=7', 0, 'page', '', 0),
(8, 1, '2009-02-16 15:59:35', '2009-02-16 23:59:35', '&lt;img src="http://suicidehelplines.org/rosannepicture.jpg" alt="Roseanne" style="float:right; padding:My name is Rosanne and  I love to give my testimony, because I get to talk about Him - Jesus - The Lamb of God. My testimony can be summed up by Rev. 12:11 which states, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony."When you read this, you should know that I was married once before when I was very young and when I talk about a marriage in this document, I’m talking about my first marriage - - not my current marriage.”  I have talked to many people who can’t seem to remember their early childhood.  My early years are indelibly etched in my mind.  In fact, I’ve asked God to let me repress the memories again like I did for about 20 years but He said, “No, I have healed your wounds, but I leave the scars so that you might be recognized by those who are still wounded.  Statistics tell us that in the general population, about 45% of all women have been abused in some way.  In prison, that number doubles - -  90% of the women in prison have survived some type of abuse.   Now . . . I know . . . that children should be raised in an environment of love and nurturing and they should learn to trust - - but I wasn’t raised that way.The first time I was raped I was 4 years old.  That’s when fear entered my life for the first time and the first brick of my self-made prison was put in place. There were hundreds of attacks spanning more than 8 years of my young life.  I think the most devastating thing about child abuse is that the victim carries the shame.  I could have been the poster child for shame and low self-esteem – bricks #2 and 3. I was seven years old the first time I tried to commit suicide.  My abusers threw some horse blankets over my shoulders and they forced me to climb to the top of the silo on the farm where I grew up.  I knew what was going to happen to me once I got to the top.  I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it was one of those times when your mind is saying one thing but your body is doing the opposite.  I was climbing, but my mind was screaming, “No.”  I was almost to the top when I decided to just let go of the ladder.  I remember feeling very much at peace during the fall.  There was an 8’ x 10’ concrete slab at the bottom of the ladder and I knew it would all be over soon.  But, there was this little pile of silage on the concrete and that’s what I landed on.  I only got the wind knocked out of me - - but at least I avoided the abuse that day.  Thoughts of death were constantly in my mind from that day forward – Brick #4. I became hypervigilant.  I would watch and I would have to be aware of everything that took place in that house.  If my mother started to put on her makeup, I knew she would be leaving soon and I had better figure out my hiding place.  As soon as the car left the driveway, I would take off.  I would run in one direction and then as soon as I was out of sight, I would change course hoping that they wouldn’t be able to figure out which direction I took.  I would hide in cornfields, oat fields, the barn, the grainery, old rusted out cars out in the pasture.   Sometimes I was successful at hiding myself.  Other times I was not.  One time, I think I was about 8 years old, my hiding place was discovered.  But, this time, instead of suicide, I decided they would have to kill me.  So I turned into a wild animal.  I kicked, I screamed, I bit, I scratched, I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I hit.  It was no use.  They were much bigger and stronger than I was.  But I didn’t care.  They weren’t going to do that to me again. Anger and rage took over my whole being – Bricks 5 and 6. They dragged me into the house and into the bedroom but they couldn’t get me to stop kicking and screaming.  So, they put a pillow over my face until I passed out.  When I woke up, I was sitting in a fetal position in the corner of the room hugging that very same pillow. Now, you can add the brick called hate to my prison wall.  After that, I started to have recurring nightmares about pillows that were so heavy I couldn’t lift them off me. The nightmares came almost every night. It was about this time that I would have to say that my spirit was broken.  There was no fight left in me.  My abusers could do pretty much anything to me and I didn’t respond.  It was as though I could separate my mind from my body. The clinical term for this is disassociation. I was 10 the next time I attempted suicide.  My family was at a lake and I decided I would swim out and just never come back.  The ironic thing is that one of my abusers saved me.  Saved me - - for what? Now add the brick of fatalism to the wall. I had no hope.  When I was 12, the abuse finally stopped.  My abusers moved away.  And I remember deciding - - I actually decided - - to repress the memories and not let them affect me.  That was easier said than done.I started drinking when I was 14.  I got in with a pretty wild bunch of kids.  We drank every chance we got - - weeknights, weekends, it didn’t matter.  We were involved in vandalism and shoplifting. I was jealous and resentful toward anybody who had nice things.  Two more bricks were added to my prison wall. I remember a high speed chase from the police and a hit-and-run accident. Add rebellion to the bricks in the wall.  I had no boundaries in my life, not with what was right or wrong, not with what was good or bad, not with alcohol, not with sex, not with anything.  Once, I even took the morning after pill. I don’t know if I was pregnant or not but you can add a big brick called guilt. When I was 15, I was at a party up on the bluffs overlooking Red Wing.  That night, I decided I could fly.  So I took off running toward the edge of the bluff.  One of my drinking buddies tackled me.  He brought me back to the party and gave me another beer. That’s just the way it was so you can add the alcoholism brick to the wall.  My wall was getting higher and higher.  I married one of those kids from the wild bunch.  And we had three children (My three children were three bright spots in my otherwise dark existence.  They are three more people who know everything about me and love me anyway.)  But, shortly after that my mother was killed by a drunk driver and, since my father was ill, I took over the care, custody and control (or lack of control I should say) of my three younger siblings.  I was only 24 years old and with my background, I knew nothing about raising teenagers and they all ended up running away and getting into trouble.  Another brick:  failure.  A couple of years later, my father died. Two more bricks - - grief and sorrow. All the while, the drinking continued.  I could kind of control it during the week because I had to go to work, but the weekends were blackouts. All the stressors (family, finances, alcohol, my history of abuse) were all affecting the marriage.  Neither one of us knew anything about marriage or what it’s supposed to be.  And that became abusive as well. I vowed I would never trust another man for the rest of my life.  My walls just kept getting higher and higher. Another brick - - divorce was added. Don’t forget that I was holding all the bricks together with the mortar of depression and despair and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid prison cell.     Now, some of you may know this, but, if you’re a thirty-something female and you go to the doctor and you tell him or her that you’re depressed, you can get pretty much any pill you want - - and I had them all.  I would try to take them as directed, but, of course, no pill could get to the root of my problem so I would take a few and the rest would end up in the medicine cabinet.  I was 32 (20 years from the time I decided to repress the memories) and the nightmares came back  - - with a vengeance.   I couldn’t handle it anymore  - -   The lack of sleep – the nightmares - the pain - the anguish.   The load I was carrying was too heavy.  I knew I could take those pills that I had stored up in the medicine cabinet and it would all be over.  I could just go to sleep and never wake up. But, you see, I was raised Catholic.  My dear mother had dragged me to church every Sunday.  And I remembered the priests and the nuns talking about a loving Father God but I had no experience of a loving male of any kind.  I remembered my catecism and I remembered that the Catholic Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you’d go to hell.  The thought crossed my mind - - if there is a hell - - maybe, just maybe - - could there be a heaven?  A tiny crack had appeared in that prison wall. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll give God one more chance.  Because you see, I had prayed when I was a little girl.  I prayed that God would save me from my abusers.  I prayed that He would just kill them.  But He never answered those prayers.  What would make me think that He would answer now? But I thought, okay, I’ll give it one more day.  If nothing changed in the next 24 hours, I made up my mind that I would take the pills.  So, I put the pills back in the medicine cabinet and then, I prayed - - really honestly prayed for the first time in my life.  I had nothing to lose.  I said, “God, if you’re there, and if you care, then you’re going to have to prove it to me because I really don’t believe in you.”  Nothing happened so I went back to bed.  I was afraid of the nightmares so I was not trying to go to sleep.  I just started repeating the Lord’s Prayer in my head over and over again.  Anything to keep my mind occupied.  Then, out of nowhere, this thought popped into my head.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  The thought was in the form of a question.  It was, “What would be proof to you?” How strange, I thought.  And then I started thinking about what would be proof to me?  Then another thought popped into my head.  I remembered that little sentence that I heard a thousand times in the Mass when my mother would drag me to church on Sundays.  For those of you raised Catholic, you’ll know this.  It was, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I will be healed.” That’s it, I said.  Because I knew that I was not worthy.  There was no question about that.  So, I said, “If you can make me worthy to receive you, then I will believe.”   Suddenly, I felt like I was floating and I know my conscious mind was there and alert because I remember thinking, “Well, of course, you’re floating, you’re laying on a water bed.”  But, it wasn’t like that.  I was floating in the air.  Then, just as suddenly, I was upright and I was walking.  With each step it seemed like I was traveling 500,000 miles.  I remember looking back and I could see the world.  It was surrounded by these black boiling clouds with thunder and lightning and it looked very cold and foreboding. But I was heading toward a bright light that looked warm and welcoming.  So, I kept going in that direction. When I got closer to the light, I was enveloped in it and when I got to the source of the light, I saw a man standing there.  He was looking out across the horizon as if he was waiting for someone, expecting someone.  I knew who He was.  And, I thought, I can’t be here.  I didn’t take the pills.  How could I be here?  Then, I realized that I was on holy ground and I was most certainly not holy so I looked for a rock or anything that I could hide under so He wouldn’t see me.  But, there was nothing to hide under and I realized that I couldn’t stop.  It was as if something like a magnet was attached to me right here in the middle and it was pulling me towards Him.  I got to within about 4 feet of Him and I finally stopped.  Then His eyes fell on me and it was as if He was looking inside me, not at me.  Then, my life started to pass before me kind of in the space between us and I knew He could see it too. It started from that day and went backwards, yet every incident, every event took place in forward motion.  At first I was fascinated by it.  I wondered who made such a complete video of my life and then I realized it was coming from inside me.  I began to see the negative things in my life.  I saw the depression and the pain.  I saw the failed marriage.  I saw my poor mother and her heart that I had broken.  I saw the affairs, the partying and the drinking.  I saw the vandalism and the stealing, the cheating, the lying.  I saw all the people that I had hurt.  And then I began to see the attempted suicides, the beatings and the abuse.  And then I was 4 years old again and I saw where it all started. Then, I heard a sound.  It started out small at first but it kept growing and growing until I had to cover my ears.  It was the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard and then I realized where the scream was coming from.  It was coming from me.  It was all the rage and the hate and the fear coming out of me.  I started to cry and I looked at Him because I wanted Him to make it stop.   But, He was crying too.  And, I realized what I had been doing.  I had been blaming Him for the abuse.  That shattered little girl had prayed to Him and He hadn’t put a stop to it.  But, it wasn’t His fault.  He was not to blame.   I realized, looking at His tears, who was truly to blame.  It was the enemy.  The one who hates innocence, who hates goodness, the one who only comes to steal, kill and destroy.  As soon as I realized that, He held out His hands to me and I could see the nail marks in His hands and they weren’t healed.  I don’t know why but I guess I thought they would be healed after all this time but they weren’t.  And He was saying, “I did this for you.”  But, I said, “Why, I’m not worth it.” Then this look came across His face as if I had slapped Him or something. I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  “You don’t understand.” He said.  “Because I did it, that’s what makes you worthy.” Then I realized that I had it all backwards.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to be worthy.  The only thing that could make me worthy was Him and Him crucified.  And I realized in that instant that if I had been the only person in the whole entire world to accept Him, He still would have done it.  Then it was as if blinders fell off my eyes and He let me see myself.  He let me see what He could see when He looked inside me.  He let me see what my sins had done to my soul.  I looked and I could see these horrible things attached to my body.  They were everywhere, hundreds of them.  Some were scabbed over and black and dried up like pieces of coal.  Some were oozing greenish-yellowish puss.  And some were bright red as if they had just erupted.  I was disgusting.  I tried to get them off me but I couldn’t.  They were part of me. It was these ugly things that drove Him to do what He did - - and I was so sorry.  I was so sorry.  I truly repented for the first time in my life. Once He sensed my repentance, He just raised His right hand ever so slightly and I was out.  I have read about being slain in the spirit and I think that is what happened to me.  The next thing I knew I was floating above my body.  I could see myself laying on an alter.  I don’t know how I got there, except He must have carried me.  And, He was standing alongside the alter and I could see Him pass His hand over me like this. At first I was confused.  I didn’t know what He was doing.  Then, I understood, my soul finally knew its worth.  I understood the depth of His love.  I understood that He was abused too but He didn’t fight back.  When they came for Him, He didn’t hide.  When they beat Him, He didn’t try to run.  When they spat on Him and put the crown of thorns on His head, He didn’t call them names.  When they hung Him on the cross, He didn’t strike them dead with lightning.  Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  So, who was I to withhold forgiveness?  Suddenly, my abusers were not my abusers anymore.  They were my brothers and I realized that they had been abused too.  Not only were they forgiven but I wanted them to find this same love that I had found. I understood what I had done with all those bricks in my life- the shame, the hate, the fear, the anger, the rage, the resentment, the unforgiveness, the mistrust, the depression, the despair.  I had used them to build walls around my heart.  I thought they were protecting me but they only served to keep me from the Only One who could truly help me. At that moment, I understood why His wounds weren’t healed.  I understood what He was doing.  He was washing me with His blood.  He took my sins and He cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west and He will remember them no more - - so why should I - - why should you? You see, God wants to break down the brick walls that might be separating you from Him.  He wants to draw you near to Him and heal your wounds.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be closer than a brother, a sister or a spouse to you.  Will you let Him?  You see, here’s the thing . . . He wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  He wants you to have the same peace and joy and love that I have found.', 'Testimony', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '7-revision', '', '', '2009-02-16 15:59:35', '2009-02-16 23:59:35', '', 7, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/7-revision', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(9, 1, '2009-02-16 16:17:26', '2009-02-17 00:17:26', '<img style="float:right; padding:10px;" src="http://suicidehelplines.org/rosannepicture.jpg" alt="Roseanne" />My name is Rosanne and  I love to give my testimony, because I get to talk about Him - Jesus - The Lamb of God. My testimony can be summed up by Rev. 12:11 which states, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony."When you read this, you should know that I was married once before when I was very young and when I talk about a marriage in this document, I’m talking about my first marriage - - not my current marriage.”\n\nI have talked to many people who can’t seem to remember their early childhood.  My early years are indelibly etched in my mind.  In fact, I’ve asked God to let me repress the memories again like I did for about 20 years but He said, “No, I have healed your wounds, but I leave the scars so that you might be recognized by those who are still wounded.  Statistics tell us that in the general population, about 45% of all women have been abused in some way.  In prison, that number doubles - -  90% of the women in prison have survived some type of abuse.\n\nNow . . . I know . . . that children should be raised in an environment of love and nurturing and they should learn to trust - - but I wasn’t raised that way.The first time I was raped I was 4 years old.  That’s when fear entered my life for the first time and the first brick of my self-made prison was put in place. There were hundreds of attacks spanning more than 8 years of my young life.\n\nI think the most devastating thing about child abuse is that the victim carries the shame.  I could have been the poster child for shame and low self-esteem – bricks #2 and 3. I was seven years old the first time I tried to commit suicide.  My abusers threw some horse blankets over my shoulders and they forced me to climb to the top of the silo on the farm where I grew up.  I knew what was going to happen to me once I got to the top.  I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it was one of those times when your mind is saying one thing but your body is doing the opposite.  I was climbing, but my mind was screaming, “No.”  I was almost to the top when I decided to just let go of the ladder.  I remember feeling very much at peace during the fall.  There was an 8’ x 10’ concrete slab at the bottom of the ladder and I knew it would all be over soon.  But, there was this little pile of silage on the concrete and that’s what I landed on.  I only got the wind knocked out of me - - but at least I avoided the abuse that day.\n\nThoughts of death were constantly in my mind from that day forward – Brick #4. I became hypervigilant.  I would watch and I would have to be aware of everything that took place in that house.  If my mother started to put on her makeup, I knew she would be leaving soon and I had better figure out my hiding place.  As soon as the car left the driveway, I would take off.  I would run in one direction and then as soon as I was out of sight, I would change course hoping that they wouldn’t be able to figure out which direction I took.  I would hide in cornfields, oat fields, the barn, the grainery, old rusted out cars out in the pasture.\n\nSometimes I was successful at hiding myself.  Other times I was not.  One time, I think I was about 8 years old, my hiding place was discovered.  But, this time, instead of suicide, I decided they would have to kill me.  So I turned into a wild animal.  I kicked, I screamed, I bit, I scratched, I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I hit.  It was no use.  They were much bigger and stronger than I was.  But I didn’t care.  They weren’t going to do that to me again. Anger and rage took over my whole being – Bricks 5 and 6. They dragged me into the house and into the bedroom but they couldn’t get me to stop kicking and screaming.  So, they put a pillow over my face until I passed out.  When I woke up, I was sitting in a fetal position in the corner of the room hugging that very same pillow. Now, you can add the brick called hate to my prison wall.\n\nAfter that, I started to have recurring nightmares about pillows that were so heavy I couldn’t lift them off me. The nightmares came almost every night. It was about this time that I would have to say that my spirit was broken.  There was no fight left in me.  My abusers could do pretty much anything to me and I didn’t respond.  It was as though I could separate my mind from my body. The clinical term for this is disassociation. I was 10 the next time I attempted suicide.  My family was at a lake and I decided I would swim out and just never come back.  The ironic thing is that one of my abusers saved me.  Saved me - - for what? Now add the brick of fatalism to the wall. I had no hope.\n\nWhen I was 12, the abuse finally stopped.  My abusers moved away.  And I remember deciding - - I actually decided - - to repress the memories and not let them affect me.  That was easier said than done.I started drinking when I was 14.  I got in with a pretty wild bunch of kids.  We drank every chance we got - - weeknights, weekends, it didn’t matter.  We were involved in vandalism and shoplifting. I was jealous and resentful toward anybody who had nice things.  Two more bricks were added to my prison wall. I remember a high speed chase from the police and a hit-and-run accident. Add rebellion to the bricks in the wall.\n\nI had no boundaries in my life, not with what was right or wrong, not with what was good or bad, not with alcohol, not with sex, not with anything.  Once, I even took the morning after pill. I don’t know if I was pregnant or not but you can add a big brick called guilt. When I was 15, I was at a party up on the bluffs overlooking Red Wing.  That night, I decided I could fly.  So I took off running toward the edge of the bluff.  One of my drinking buddies tackled me.  He brought me back to the party and gave me another beer. That’s just the way it was so you can add the alcoholism brick to the wall.  My wall was getting higher and higher.\n\nI married one of those kids from the wild bunch.  And we had three children (My three children were three bright spots in my otherwise dark existence.  They are three more people who know everything about me and love me anyway.)  But, shortly after that my mother was killed by a drunk driver and, since my father was ill, I took over the care, custody and control (or lack of control I should say) of my three younger siblings.  I was only 24 years old and with my background, I knew nothing about raising teenagers and they all ended up running away and getting into trouble.  Another brick:  failure.\n\nA couple of years later, my father died. Two more bricks - - grief and sorrow. All the while, the drinking continued.  I could kind of control it during the week because I had to go to work, but the weekends were blackouts. All the stressors (family, finances, alcohol, my history of abuse) were all affecting the marriage.  Neither one of us knew anything about marriage or what it’s supposed to be.  And that became abusive as well. I vowed I would never trust another man for the rest of my life.  My walls just kept getting higher and higher. Another brick - - divorce was added. Don’t forget that I was holding all the bricks together with the mortar of depression and despair and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid prison cell.\n\nNow, some of you may know this, but, if you’re a thirty-something female and you go to the doctor and you tell him or her that you’re depressed, you can get pretty much any pill you want - - and I had them all.  I would try to take them as directed, but, of course, no pill could get to the root of my problem so I would take a few and the rest would end up in the medicine cabinet.\n\nI was 32 (20 years from the time I decided to repress the memories) and the nightmares came back  - - with a vengeance.   I couldn’t handle it anymore  - -   The lack of sleep – the nightmares - the pain - the anguish.   The load I was carrying was too heavy.  I knew I could take those pills that I had stored up in the medicine cabinet and it would all be over.  I could just go to sleep and never wake up. But, you see, I was raised Catholic.  My dear mother had dragged me to church every Sunday.  And I remembered the priests and the nuns talking about a loving Father God but I had no experience of a loving male of any kind.  I remembered my catecism and I remembered that the Catholic Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you’d go to hell.\n\nThe thought crossed my mind - - if there is a hell - - maybe, just maybe - - could there be a heaven?  A tiny crack had appeared in that prison wall. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll give God one more chance.  Because you see, I had prayed when I was a little girl.  I prayed that God would save me from my abusers.  I prayed that He would just kill them.  But He never answered those prayers.  What would make me think that He would answer now? But I thought, okay, I’ll give it one more day.  If nothing changed in the next 24 hours, I made up my mind that I would take the pills.  So, I put the pills back in the medicine cabinet and then, I prayed - - really honestly prayed for the first time in my life.  I had nothing to lose.  I said, “God, if you’re there, and if you care, then you’re going to have to prove it to me because I really don’t believe in you.”\n\nNothing happened so I went back to bed.  I was afraid of the nightmares so I was not trying to go to sleep.  I just started repeating the Lord’s Prayer in my head over and over again.  Anything to keep my mind occupied.  Then, out of nowhere, this thought popped into my head.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  The thought was in the form of a question.  It was, “What would be proof to you?” How strange, I thought.  And then I started thinking about what would be proof to me?  Then another thought popped into my head.  I remembered that little sentence that I heard a thousand times in the Mass when my mother would drag me to church on Sundays.  For those of you raised Catholic, you’ll know this.  It was, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I will be healed.” That’s it, I said.  Because I knew that I was not worthy.  There was no question about that.  So, I said, “If you can make me worthy to receive you, then I will believe.”\n\nSuddenly, I felt like I was floating and I know my conscious mind was there and alert because I remember thinking, “Well, of course, you’re floating, you’re laying on a water bed.”  But, it wasn’t like that.  I was floating in the air.  Then, just as suddenly, I was upright and I was walking.  With each step it seemed like I was traveling 500,000 miles.  I remember looking back and I could see the world.  It was surrounded by these black boiling clouds with thunder and lightning and it looked very cold and foreboding. But I was heading toward a bright light that looked warm and welcoming.  So, I kept going in that direction. When I got closer to the light, I was enveloped in it and when I got to the source of the light, I saw a man standing there.  He was looking out across the horizon as if he was waiting for someone, expecting someone.  I knew who He was.  And, I thought, I can’t be here.  I didn’t take the pills.  How could I be here?  Then, I realized that I was on holy ground and I was most certainly not holy so I looked for a rock or anything that I could hide under so He wouldn’t see me.  But, there was nothing to hide under and I realized that I couldn’t stop.  It was as if something like a magnet was attached to me right here in the middle and it was pulling me towards Him.\n\nI got to within about 4 feet of Him and I finally stopped.  Then His eyes fell on me and it was as if He was looking inside me, not at me.  Then, my life started to pass before me kind of in the space between us and I knew He could see it too. It started from that day and went backwards, yet every incident, every event took place in forward motion.  At first I was fascinated by it.  I wondered who made such a complete video of my life and then I realized it was coming from inside me.  I began to see the negative things in my life.  I saw the depression and the pain.  I saw the failed marriage.  I saw my poor mother and her heart that I had broken.  I saw the affairs, the partying and the drinking.  I saw the vandalism and the stealing, the cheating, the lying.  I saw all the people that I had hurt.  And then I began to see the attempted suicides, the beatings and the abuse.  And then I was 4 years old again and I saw where it all started. Then, I heard a sound.  It started out small at first but it kept growing and growing until I had to cover my ears.  It was the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard and then I realized where the scream was coming from.  It was coming from me.  It was all the rage and the hate and the fear coming out of me.  I started to cry and I looked at Him because I wanted Him to make it stop.   But, He was crying too.  And, I realized what I had been doing.  I had been blaming Him for the abuse.  That shattered little girl had prayed to Him and He hadn’t put a stop to it.  But, it wasn’t His fault.  He was not to blame.\n\nI realized, looking at His tears, who was truly to blame.  It was the enemy.  The one who hates innocence, who hates goodness, the one who only comes to steal, kill and destroy.  As soon as I realized that, He held out His hands to me and I could see the nail marks in His hands and they weren’t healed.  I don’t know why but I guess I thought they would be healed after all this time but they weren’t.  And He was saying, “I did this for you.”  But, I said, “Why, I’m not worth it.” Then this look came across His face as if I had slapped Him or something. I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  “You don’t understand.” He said.  “Because I did it, that’s what makes you worthy.” Then I realized that I had it all backwards.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to be worthy.  The only thing that could make me worthy was Him and Him crucified.  And I realized in that instant that if I had been the only person in the whole entire world to accept Him, He still would have done it.\n\nThen it was as if blinders fell off my eyes and He let me see myself.  He let me see what He could see when He looked inside me.  He let me see what my sins had done to my soul.  I looked and I could see these horrible things attached to my body.  They were everywhere, hundreds of them.  Some were scabbed over and black and dried up like pieces of coal.  Some were oozing greenish-yellowish puss.  And some were bright red as if they had just erupted.  I was disgusting.  I tried to get them off me but I couldn’t.  They were part of me. It was these ugly things that drove Him to do what He did - - and I was so sorry.  I was so sorry.  I truly repented for the first time in my life. Once He sensed my repentance, He just raised His right hand ever so slightly and I was out.  I have read about being slain in the spirit and I think that is what happened to me.\n\nThe next thing I knew I was floating above my body.  I could see myself laying on an alter.  I don’t know how I got there, except He must have carried me.  And, He was standing alongside the alter and I could see Him pass His hand over me like this. At first I was confused.  I didn’t know what He was doing.  Then, I understood, my soul finally knew its worth.  I understood the depth of His love.  I understood that He was abused too but He didn’t fight back.  When they came for Him, He didn’t hide.  When they beat Him, He didn’t try to run.  When they spat on Him and put the crown of thorns on His head, He didn’t call them names.  When they hung Him on the cross, He didn’t strike them dead with lightning.  Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”\n\nSo, who was I to withhold forgiveness?  Suddenly, my abusers were not my abusers anymore.  They were my brothers and I realized that they had been abused too.  Not only were they forgiven but I wanted them to find this same love that I had found. I understood what I had done with all those bricks in my life- the shame, the hate, the fear, the anger, the rage, the resentment, the unforgiveness, the mistrust, the depression, the despair.  I had used them to build walls around my heart.  I thought they were protecting me but they only served to keep me from the Only One who could truly help me. At that moment, I understood why His wounds weren’t healed.  I understood what He was doing.  He was washing me with His blood.\n\nHe took my sins and He cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west and He will remember them no more - - so why should I - - why should you? You see, God wants to break down the brick walls that might be separating you from Him.  He wants to draw you near to Him and heal your wounds.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be closer than a brother, a sister or a spouse to you.  Will you let Him?\n\nYou see, here’s the thing . . . He wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  He wants you to have the same peace and joy and love that I have found.', 'Rosenne''s Testimony', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '7-autosave', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:17:26', '2009-02-17 00:17:26', '', 7, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=9', 0, 'revision', '', 0);
INSERT INTO `wp_posts` VALUES
(10, 1, '2009-02-16 15:59:51', '2009-02-16 23:59:51', '<img src="http://suicidehelplines.org/rosannepicture.jpg" alt="Roseanne" style="float:right; padding:10px;">My name is Rosanne and  I love to give my testimony, because I get to talk about Him - Jesus - The Lamb of God. My testimony can be summed up by Rev. 12:11 which states, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony."When you read this, you should know that I was married once before when I was very young and when I talk about a marriage in this document, I’m talking about my first marriage - - not my current marriage.”  I have talked to many people who can’t seem to remember their early childhood.  My early years are indelibly etched in my mind.  In fact, I’ve asked God to let me repress the memories again like I did for about 20 years but He said, “No, I have healed your wounds, but I leave the scars so that you might be recognized by those who are still wounded.  Statistics tell us that in the general population, about 45% of all women have been abused in some way.  In prison, that number doubles - -  90% of the women in prison have survived some type of abuse.   Now . . . I know . . . that children should be raised in an environment of love and nurturing and they should learn to trust - - but I wasn’t raised that way.The first time I was raped I was 4 years old.  That’s when fear entered my life for the first time and the first brick of my self-made prison was put in place. There were hundreds of attacks spanning more than 8 years of my young life.  I think the most devastating thing about child abuse is that the victim carries the shame.  I could have been the poster child for shame and low self-esteem – bricks #2 and 3. I was seven years old the first time I tried to commit suicide.  My abusers threw some horse blankets over my shoulders and they forced me to climb to the top of the silo on the farm where I grew up.  I knew what was going to happen to me once I got to the top.  I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it was one of those times when your mind is saying one thing but your body is doing the opposite.  I was climbing, but my mind was screaming, “No.”  I was almost to the top when I decided to just let go of the ladder.  I remember feeling very much at peace during the fall.  There was an 8’ x 10’ concrete slab at the bottom of the ladder and I knew it would all be over soon.  But, there was this little pile of silage on the concrete and that’s what I landed on.  I only got the wind knocked out of me - - but at least I avoided the abuse that day.  Thoughts of death were constantly in my mind from that day forward – Brick #4. I became hypervigilant.  I would watch and I would have to be aware of everything that took place in that house.  If my mother started to put on her makeup, I knew she would be leaving soon and I had better figure out my hiding place.  As soon as the car left the driveway, I would take off.  I would run in one direction and then as soon as I was out of sight, I would change course hoping that they wouldn’t be able to figure out which direction I took.  I would hide in cornfields, oat fields, the barn, the grainery, old rusted out cars out in the pasture.   Sometimes I was successful at hiding myself.  Other times I was not.  One time, I think I was about 8 years old, my hiding place was discovered.  But, this time, instead of suicide, I decided they would have to kill me.  So I turned into a wild animal.  I kicked, I screamed, I bit, I scratched, I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I hit.  It was no use.  They were much bigger and stronger than I was.  But I didn’t care.  They weren’t going to do that to me again. Anger and rage took over my whole being – Bricks 5 and 6. They dragged me into the house and into the bedroom but they couldn’t get me to stop kicking and screaming.  So, they put a pillow over my face until I passed out.  When I woke up, I was sitting in a fetal position in the corner of the room hugging that very same pillow. Now, you can add the brick called hate to my prison wall.  After that, I started to have recurring nightmares about pillows that were so heavy I couldn’t lift them off me. The nightmares came almost every night. It was about this time that I would have to say that my spirit was broken.  There was no fight left in me.  My abusers could do pretty much anything to me and I didn’t respond.  It was as though I could separate my mind from my body. The clinical term for this is disassociation. I was 10 the next time I attempted suicide.  My family was at a lake and I decided I would swim out and just never come back.  The ironic thing is that one of my abusers saved me.  Saved me - - for what? Now add the brick of fatalism to the wall. I had no hope.  When I was 12, the abuse finally stopped.  My abusers moved away.  And I remember deciding - - I actually decided - - to repress the memories and not let them affect me.  That was easier said than done.I started drinking when I was 14.  I got in with a pretty wild bunch of kids.  We drank every chance we got - - weeknights, weekends, it didn’t matter.  We were involved in vandalism and shoplifting. I was jealous and resentful toward anybody who had nice things.  Two more bricks were added to my prison wall. I remember a high speed chase from the police and a hit-and-run accident. Add rebellion to the bricks in the wall.  I had no boundaries in my life, not with what was right or wrong, not with what was good or bad, not with alcohol, not with sex, not with anything.  Once, I even took the morning after pill. I don’t know if I was pregnant or not but you can add a big brick called guilt. When I was 15, I was at a party up on the bluffs overlooking Red Wing.  That night, I decided I could fly.  So I took off running toward the edge of the bluff.  One of my drinking buddies tackled me.  He brought me back to the party and gave me another beer. That’s just the way it was so you can add the alcoholism brick to the wall.  My wall was getting higher and higher.  I married one of those kids from the wild bunch.  And we had three children (My three children were three bright spots in my otherwise dark existence.  They are three more people who know everything about me and love me anyway.)  But, shortly after that my mother was killed by a drunk driver and, since my father was ill, I took over the care, custody and control (or lack of control I should say) of my three younger siblings.  I was only 24 years old and with my background, I knew nothing about raising teenagers and they all ended up running away and getting into trouble.  Another brick:  failure.  A couple of years later, my father died. Two more bricks - - grief and sorrow. All the while, the drinking continued.  I could kind of control it during the week because I had to go to work, but the weekends were blackouts. All the stressors (family, finances, alcohol, my history of abuse) were all affecting the marriage.  Neither one of us knew anything about marriage or what it’s supposed to be.  And that became abusive as well. I vowed I would never trust another man for the rest of my life.  My walls just kept getting higher and higher. Another brick - - divorce was added. Don’t forget that I was holding all the bricks together with the mortar of depression and despair and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid prison cell.     Now, some of you may know this, but, if you’re a thirty-something female and you go to the doctor and you tell him or her that you’re depressed, you can get pretty much any pill you want - - and I had them all.  I would try to take them as directed, but, of course, no pill could get to the root of my problem so I would take a few and the rest would end up in the medicine cabinet.  I was 32 (20 years from the time I decided to repress the memories) and the nightmares came back  - - with a vengeance.   I couldn’t handle it anymore  - -   The lack of sleep – the nightmares - the pain - the anguish.   The load I was carrying was too heavy.  I knew I could take those pills that I had stored up in the medicine cabinet and it would all be over.  I could just go to sleep and never wake up. But, you see, I was raised Catholic.  My dear mother had dragged me to church every Sunday.  And I remembered the priests and the nuns talking about a loving Father God but I had no experience of a loving male of any kind.  I remembered my catecism and I remembered that the Catholic Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you’d go to hell.  The thought crossed my mind - - if there is a hell - - maybe, just maybe - - could there be a heaven?  A tiny crack had appeared in that prison wall. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll give God one more chance.  Because you see, I had prayed when I was a little girl.  I prayed that God would save me from my abusers.  I prayed that He would just kill them.  But He never answered those prayers.  What would make me think that He would answer now? But I thought, okay, I’ll give it one more day.  If nothing changed in the next 24 hours, I made up my mind that I would take the pills.  So, I put the pills back in the medicine cabinet and then, I prayed - - really honestly prayed for the first time in my life.  I had nothing to lose.  I said, “God, if you’re there, and if you care, then you’re going to have to prove it to me because I really don’t believe in you.”  Nothing happened so I went back to bed.  I was afraid of the nightmares so I was not trying to go to sleep.  I just started repeating the Lord’s Prayer in my head over and over again.  Anything to keep my mind occupied.  Then, out of nowhere, this thought popped into my head.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  The thought was in the form of a question.  It was, “What would be proof to you?” How strange, I thought.  And then I started thinking about what would be proof to me?  Then another thought popped into my head.  I remembered that little sentence that I heard a thousand times in the Mass when my mother would drag me to church on Sundays.  For those of you raised Catholic, you’ll know this.  It was, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I will be healed.” That’s it, I said.  Because I knew that I was not worthy.  There was no question about that.  So, I said, “If you can make me worthy to receive you, then I will believe.”   Suddenly, I felt like I was floating and I know my conscious mind was there and alert because I remember thinking, “Well, of course, you’re floating, you’re laying on a water bed.”  But, it wasn’t like that.  I was floating in the air.  Then, just as suddenly, I was upright and I was walking.  With each step it seemed like I was traveling 500,000 miles.  I remember looking back and I could see the world.  It was surrounded by these black boiling clouds with thunder and lightning and it looked very cold and foreboding. But I was heading toward a bright light that looked warm and welcoming.  So, I kept going in that direction. When I got closer to the light, I was enveloped in it and when I got to the source of the light, I saw a man standing there.  He was looking out across the horizon as if he was waiting for someone, expecting someone.  I knew who He was.  And, I thought, I can’t be here.  I didn’t take the pills.  How could I be here?  Then, I realized that I was on holy ground and I was most certainly not holy so I looked for a rock or anything that I could hide under so He wouldn’t see me.  But, there was nothing to hide under and I realized that I couldn’t stop.  It was as if something like a magnet was attached to me right here in the middle and it was pulling me towards Him.  I got to within about 4 feet of Him and I finally stopped.  Then His eyes fell on me and it was as if He was looking inside me, not at me.  Then, my life started to pass before me kind of in the space between us and I knew He could see it too. It started from that day and went backwards, yet every incident, every event took place in forward motion.  At first I was fascinated by it.  I wondered who made such a complete video of my life and then I realized it was coming from inside me.  I began to see the negative things in my life.  I saw the depression and the pain.  I saw the failed marriage.  I saw my poor mother and her heart that I had broken.  I saw the affairs, the partying and the drinking.  I saw the vandalism and the stealing, the cheating, the lying.  I saw all the people that I had hurt.  And then I began to see the attempted suicides, the beatings and the abuse.  And then I was 4 years old again and I saw where it all started. Then, I heard a sound.  It started out small at first but it kept growing and growing until I had to cover my ears.  It was the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard and then I realized where the scream was coming from.  It was coming from me.  It was all the rage and the hate and the fear coming out of me.  I started to cry and I looked at Him because I wanted Him to make it stop.   But, He was crying too.  And, I realized what I had been doing.  I had been blaming Him for the abuse.  That shattered little girl had prayed to Him and He hadn’t put a stop to it.  But, it wasn’t His fault.  He was not to blame.   I realized, looking at His tears, who was truly to blame.  It was the enemy.  The one who hates innocence, who hates goodness, the one who only comes to steal, kill and destroy.  As soon as I realized that, He held out His hands to me and I could see the nail marks in His hands and they weren’t healed.  I don’t know why but I guess I thought they would be healed after all this time but they weren’t.  And He was saying, “I did this for you.”  But, I said, “Why, I’m not worth it.” Then this look came across His face as if I had slapped Him or something. I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  “You don’t understand.” He said.  “Because I did it, that’s what makes you worthy.” Then I realized that I had it all backwards.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to be worthy.  The only thing that could make me worthy was Him and Him crucified.  And I realized in that instant that if I had been the only person in the whole entire world to accept Him, He still would have done it.  Then it was as if blinders fell off my eyes and He let me see myself.  He let me see what He could see when He looked inside me.  He let me see what my sins had done to my soul.  I looked and I could see these horrible things attached to my body.  They were everywhere, hundreds of them.  Some were scabbed over and black and dried up like pieces of coal.  Some were oozing greenish-yellowish puss.  And some were bright red as if they had just erupted.  I was disgusting.  I tried to get them off me but I couldn’t.  They were part of me. It was these ugly things that drove Him to do what He did - - and I was so sorry.  I was so sorry.  I truly repented for the first time in my life. Once He sensed my repentance, He just raised His right hand ever so slightly and I was out.  I have read about being slain in the spirit and I think that is what happened to me.  The next thing I knew I was floating above my body.  I could see myself laying on an alter.  I don’t know how I got there, except He must have carried me.  And, He was standing alongside the alter and I could see Him pass His hand over me like this. At first I was confused.  I didn’t know what He was doing.  Then, I understood, my soul finally knew its worth.  I understood the depth of His love.  I understood that He was abused too but He didn’t fight back.  When they came for Him, He didn’t hide.  When they beat Him, He didn’t try to run.  When they spat on Him and put the crown of thorns on His head, He didn’t call them names.  When they hung Him on the cross, He didn’t strike them dead with lightning.  Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  So, who was I to withhold forgiveness?  Suddenly, my abusers were not my abusers anymore.  They were my brothers and I realized that they had been abused too.  Not only were they forgiven but I wanted them to find this same love that I had found. I understood what I had done with all those bricks in my life- the shame, the hate, the fear, the anger, the rage, the resentment, the unforgiveness, the mistrust, the depression, the despair.  I had used them to build walls around my heart.  I thought they were protecting me but they only served to keep me from the Only One who could truly help me. At that moment, I understood why His wounds weren’t healed.  I understood what He was doing.  He was washing me with His blood.  He took my sins and He cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west and He will remember them no more - - so why should I - - why should you? You see, God wants to break down the brick walls that might be separating you from Him.  He wants to draw you near to Him and heal your wounds.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be closer than a brother, a sister or a spouse to you.  Will you let Him?  You see, here’s the thing . . . He wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  He wants you to have the same peace and joy and love that I have found.', 'Testimony', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '7-revision-2', '', '', '2009-02-16 15:59:51', '2009-02-16 23:59:51', '', 7, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=10', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(11, 1, '2009-02-16 16:14:45', '2009-02-17 00:14:45', '<img style="float:right; padding:10px;" src="http://suicidehelplines.org/rosannepicture.jpg" alt="Roseanne" />My name is Rosanne and  I love to give my testimony, because I get to talk about Him - Jesus - The Lamb of God. My testimony can be summed up by Rev. 12:11 which states, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony."When you read this, you should know that I was married once before when I was very young and when I talk about a marriage in this document, I’m talking about my first marriage - - not my current marriage.”\r\n\r\nI have talked to many people who can’t seem to remember their early childhood.  My early years are indelibly etched in my mind.  In fact, I’ve asked God to let me repress the memories again like I did for about 20 years but He said, “No, I have healed your wounds, but I leave the scars so that you might be recognized by those who are still wounded.  Statistics tell us that in the general population, about 45% of all women have been abused in some way.  In prison, that number doubles - -  90% of the women in prison have survived some type of abuse.\r\n\r\nNow . . . I know . . . that children should be raised in an environment of love and nurturing and they should learn to trust - - but I wasn’t raised that way.The first time I was raped I was 4 years old.  That’s when fear entered my life for the first time and the first brick of my self-made prison was put in place. There were hundreds of attacks spanning more than 8 years of my young life.\r\n\r\nI think the most devastating thing about child abuse is that the victim carries the shame.  I could have been the poster child for shame and low self-esteem – bricks #2 and 3. I was seven years old the first time I tried to commit suicide.  My abusers threw some horse blankets over my shoulders and they forced me to climb to the top of the silo on the farm where I grew up.  I knew what was going to happen to me once I got to the top.  I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it was one of those times when your mind is saying one thing but your body is doing the opposite.  I was climbing, but my mind was screaming, “No.”  I was almost to the top when I decided to just let go of the ladder.  I remember feeling very much at peace during the fall.  There was an 8’ x 10’ concrete slab at the bottom of the ladder and I knew it would all be over soon.  But, there was this little pile of silage on the concrete and that’s what I landed on.  I only got the wind knocked out of me - - but at least I avoided the abuse that day.\r\n\r\nThoughts of death were constantly in my mind from that day forward – Brick #4. I became hypervigilant.  I would watch and I would have to be aware of everything that took place in that house.  If my mother started to put on her makeup, I knew she would be leaving soon and I had better figure out my hiding place.  As soon as the car left the driveway, I would take off.  I would run in one direction and then as soon as I was out of sight, I would change course hoping that they wouldn’t be able to figure out which direction I took.  I would hide in cornfields, oat fields, the barn, the grainery, old rusted out cars out in the pasture.\r\n\r\nSometimes I was successful at hiding myself.  Other times I was not.  One time, I think I was about 8 years old, my hiding place was discovered.  But, this time, instead of suicide, I decided they would have to kill me.  So I turned into a wild animal.  I kicked, I screamed, I bit, I scratched, I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I hit.  It was no use.  They were much bigger and stronger than I was.  But I didn’t care.  They weren’t going to do that to me again. Anger and rage took over my whole being – Bricks 5 and 6. They dragged me into the house and into the bedroom but they couldn’t get me to stop kicking and screaming.  So, they put a pillow over my face until I passed out.  When I woke up, I was sitting in a fetal position in the corner of the room hugging that very same pillow. Now, you can add the brick called hate to my prison wall.\r\n\r\nAfter that, I started to have recurring nightmares about pillows that were so heavy I couldn’t lift them off me. The nightmares came almost every night. It was about this time that I would have to say that my spirit was broken.  There was no fight left in me.  My abusers could do pretty much anything to me and I didn’t respond.  It was as though I could separate my mind from my body. The clinical term for this is disassociation. I was 10 the next time I attempted suicide.  My family was at a lake and I decided I would swim out and just never come back.  The ironic thing is that one of my abusers saved me.  Saved me - - for what? Now add the brick of fatalism to the wall. I had no hope.\r\n\r\nWhen I was 12, the abuse finally stopped.  My abusers moved away.  And I remember deciding - - I actually decided - - to repress the memories and not let them affect me.  That was easier said than done.I started drinking when I was 14.  I got in with a pretty wild bunch of kids.  We drank every chance we got - - weeknights, weekends, it didn’t matter.  We were involved in vandalism and shoplifting. I was jealous and resentful toward anybody who had nice things.  Two more bricks were added to my prison wall. I remember a high speed chase from the police and a hit-and-run accident. Add rebellion to the bricks in the wall.\r\n\r\nI had no boundaries in my life, not with what was right or wrong, not with what was good or bad, not with alcohol, not with sex, not with anything.  Once, I even took the morning after pill. I don’t know if I was pregnant or not but you can add a big brick called guilt. When I was 15, I was at a party up on the bluffs overlooking Red Wing.  That night, I decided I could fly.  So I took off running toward the edge of the bluff.  One of my drinking buddies tackled me.  He brought me back to the party and gave me another beer. That’s just the way it was so you can add the alcoholism brick to the wall.  My wall was getting higher and higher.\r\n\r\nI married one of those kids from the wild bunch.  And we had three children (My three children were three bright spots in my otherwise dark existence.  They are three more people who know everything about me and love me anyway.)  But, shortly after that my mother was killed by a drunk driver and, since my father was ill, I took over the care, custody and control (or lack of control I should say) of my three younger siblings.  I was only 24 years old and with my background, I knew nothing about raising teenagers and they all ended up running away and getting into trouble.  Another brick:  failure.\r\n\r\nA couple of years later, my father died. Two more bricks - - grief and sorrow. All the while, the drinking continued.  I could kind of control it during the week because I had to go to work, but the weekends were blackouts. All the stressors (family, finances, alcohol, my history of abuse) were all affecting the marriage.  Neither one of us knew anything about marriage or what it’s supposed to be.  And that became abusive as well. I vowed I would never trust another man for the rest of my life.  My walls just kept getting higher and higher. Another brick - - divorce was added. Don’t forget that I was holding all the bricks together with the mortar of depression and despair and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid prison cell.\r\n\r\nNow, some of you may know this, but, if you’re a thirty-something female and you go to the doctor and you tell him or her that you’re depressed, you can get pretty much any pill you want - - and I had them all.  I would try to take them as directed, but, of course, no pill could get to the root of my problem so I would take a few and the rest would end up in the medicine cabinet.\r\n\r\nI was 32 (20 years from the time I decided to repress the memories) and the nightmares came back  - - with a vengeance.   I couldn’t handle it anymore  - -   The lack of sleep – the nightmares - the pain - the anguish.   The load I was carrying was too heavy.  I knew I could take those pills that I had stored up in the medicine cabinet and it would all be over.  I could just go to sleep and never wake up. But, you see, I was raised Catholic.  My dear mother had dragged me to church every Sunday.  And I remembered the priests and the nuns talking about a loving Father God but I had no experience of a loving male of any kind.  I remembered my catecism and I remembered that the Catholic Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you’d go to hell.\r\n\r\nThe thought crossed my mind - - if there is a hell - - maybe, just maybe - - could there be a heaven?  A tiny crack had appeared in that prison wall. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll give God one more chance.  Because you see, I had prayed when I was a little girl.  I prayed that God would save me from my abusers.  I prayed that He would just kill them.  But He never answered those prayers.  What would make me think that He would answer now? But I thought, okay, I’ll give it one more day.  If nothing changed in the next 24 hours, I made up my mind that I would take the pills.  So, I put the pills back in the medicine cabinet and then, I prayed - - really honestly prayed for the first time in my life.  I had nothing to lose.  I said, “God, if you’re there, and if you care, then you’re going to have to prove it to me because I really don’t believe in you.”\r\n\r\nNothing happened so I went back to bed.  I was afraid of the nightmares so I was not trying to go to sleep.  I just started repeating the Lord’s Prayer in my head over and over again.  Anything to keep my mind occupied.  Then, out of nowhere, this thought popped into my head.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  The thought was in the form of a question.  It was, “What would be proof to you?” How strange, I thought.  And then I started thinking about what would be proof to me?  Then another thought popped into my head.  I remembered that little sentence that I heard a thousand times in the Mass when my mother would drag me to church on Sundays.  For those of you raised Catholic, you’ll know this.  It was, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I will be healed.” That’s it, I said.  Because I knew that I was not worthy.  There was no question about that.  So, I said, “If you can make me worthy to receive you, then I will believe.”\r\n\r\nSuddenly, I felt like I was floating and I know my conscious mind was there and alert because I remember thinking, “Well, of course, you’re floating, you’re laying on a water bed.”  But, it wasn’t like that.  I was floating in the air.  Then, just as suddenly, I was upright and I was walking.  With each step it seemed like I was traveling 500,000 miles.  I remember looking back and I could see the world.  It was surrounded by these black boiling clouds with thunder and lightning and it looked very cold and foreboding. But I was heading toward a bright light that looked warm and welcoming.  So, I kept going in that direction. When I got closer to the light, I was enveloped in it and when I got to the source of the light, I saw a man standing there.  He was looking out across the horizon as if he was waiting for someone, expecting someone.  I knew who He was.  And, I thought, I can’t be here.  I didn’t take the pills.  How could I be here?  Then, I realized that I was on holy ground and I was most certainly not holy so I looked for a rock or anything that I could hide under so He wouldn’t see me.  But, there was nothing to hide under and I realized that I couldn’t stop.  It was as if something like a magnet was attached to me right here in the middle and it was pulling me towards Him.\r\n\r\nI got to within about 4 feet of Him and I finally stopped.  Then His eyes fell on me and it was as if He was looking inside me, not at me.  Then, my life started to pass before me kind of in the space between us and I knew He could see it too. It started from that day and went backwards, yet every incident, every event took place in forward motion.  At first I was fascinated by it.  I wondered who made such a complete video of my life and then I realized it was coming from inside me.  I began to see the negative things in my life.  I saw the depression and the pain.  I saw the failed marriage.  I saw my poor mother and her heart that I had broken.  I saw the affairs, the partying and the drinking.  I saw the vandalism and the stealing, the cheating, the lying.  I saw all the people that I had hurt.  And then I began to see the attempted suicides, the beatings and the abuse.  And then I was 4 years old again and I saw where it all started. Then, I heard a sound.  It started out small at first but it kept growing and growing until I had to cover my ears.  It was the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard and then I realized where the scream was coming from.  It was coming from me.  It was all the rage and the hate and the fear coming out of me.  I started to cry and I looked at Him because I wanted Him to make it stop.   But, He was crying too.  And, I realized what I had been doing.  I had been blaming Him for the abuse.  That shattered little girl had prayed to Him and He hadn’t put a stop to it.  But, it wasn’t His fault.  He was not to blame.\r\n\r\nI realized, looking at His tears, who was truly to blame.  It was the enemy.  The one who hates innocence, who hates goodness, the one who only comes to steal, kill and destroy.  As soon as I realized that, He held out His hands to me and I could see the nail marks in His hands and they weren’t healed.  I don’t know why but I guess I thought they would be healed after all this time but they weren’t.  And He was saying, “I did this for you.”  But, I said, “Why, I’m not worth it.” Then this look came across His face as if I had slapped Him or something. I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  “You don’t understand.” He said.  “Because I did it, that’s what makes you worthy.” Then I realized that I had it all backwards.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to be worthy.  The only thing that could make me worthy was Him and Him crucified.  And I realized in that instant that if I had been the only person in the whole entire world to accept Him, He still would have done it.\r\n\r\nThen it was as if blinders fell off my eyes and He let me see myself.  He let me see what He could see when He looked inside me.  He let me see what my sins had done to my soul.  I looked and I could see these horrible things attached to my body.  They were everywhere, hundreds of them.  Some were scabbed over and black and dried up like pieces of coal.  Some were oozing greenish-yellowish puss.  And some were bright red as if they had just erupted.  I was disgusting.  I tried to get them off me but I couldn’t.  They were part of me. It was these ugly things that drove Him to do what He did - - and I was so sorry.  I was so sorry.  I truly repented for the first time in my life. Once He sensed my repentance, He just raised His right hand ever so slightly and I was out.  I have read about being slain in the spirit and I think that is what happened to me.\r\n\r\nThe next thing I knew I was floating above my body.  I could see myself laying on an alter.  I don’t know how I got there, except He must have carried me.  And, He was standing alongside the alter and I could see Him pass His hand over me like this. At first I was confused.  I didn’t know what He was doing.  Then, I understood, my soul finally knew its worth.  I understood the depth of His love.  I understood that He was abused too but He didn’t fight back.  When they came for Him, He didn’t hide.  When they beat Him, He didn’t try to run.  When they spat on Him and put the crown of thorns on His head, He didn’t call them names.  When they hung Him on the cross, He didn’t strike them dead with lightning.  Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”\r\n\r\nSo, who was I to withhold forgiveness?  Suddenly, my abusers were not my abusers anymore.  They were my brothers and I realized that they had been abused too.  Not only were they forgiven but I wanted them to find this same love that I had found. I understood what I had done with all those bricks in my life- the shame, the hate, the fear, the anger, the rage, the resentment, the unforgiveness, the mistrust, the depression, the despair.  I had used them to build walls around my heart.  I thought they were protecting me but they only served to keep me from the Only One who could truly help me. At that moment, I understood why His wounds weren’t healed.  I understood what He was doing.  He was washing me with His blood.\r\n\r\nHe took my sins and He cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west and He will remember them no more - - so why should I - - why should you? You see, God wants to break down the brick walls that might be separating you from Him.  He wants to draw you near to Him and heal your wounds.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be closer than a brother, a sister or a spouse to you.  Will you let Him?\r\n\r\nYou see, here’s the thing . . . He wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  He wants you to have the same peace and joy and love that I have found.', 'Testimony', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '7-revision-3', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:14:45', '2009-02-17 00:14:45', '', 7, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=11', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(12, 1, '2009-02-16 16:15:32', '2009-02-17 00:15:32', '<img style="float:right; padding:10px;" src="http://suicidehelplines.org/rosannepicture.jpg" alt="Roseanne" />My name is Rosanne and  I love to give my testimony, because I get to talk about Him - Jesus - The Lamb of God. My testimony can be summed up by Rev. 12:11 which states, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony."When you read this, you should know that I was married once before when I was very young and when I talk about a marriage in this document, I’m talking about my first marriage - - not my current marriage.”\r\n\r\nI have talked to many people who can’t seem to remember their early childhood.  My early years are indelibly etched in my mind.  In fact, I’ve asked God to let me repress the memories again like I did for about 20 years but He said, “No, I have healed your wounds, but I leave the scars so that you might be recognized by those who are still wounded.  Statistics tell us that in the general population, about 45% of all women have been abused in some way.  In prison, that number doubles - -  90% of the women in prison have survived some type of abuse.\r\n\r\nNow . . . I know . . . that children should be raised in an environment of love and nurturing and they should learn to trust - - but I wasn’t raised that way.The first time I was raped I was 4 years old.  That’s when fear entered my life for the first time and the first brick of my self-made prison was put in place. There were hundreds of attacks spanning more than 8 years of my young life.\r\n\r\nI think the most devastating thing about child abuse is that the victim carries the shame.  I could have been the poster child for shame and low self-esteem – bricks #2 and 3. I was seven years old the first time I tried to commit suicide.  My abusers threw some horse blankets over my shoulders and they forced me to climb to the top of the silo on the farm where I grew up.  I knew what was going to happen to me once I got to the top.  I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it was one of those times when your mind is saying one thing but your body is doing the opposite.  I was climbing, but my mind was screaming, “No.”  I was almost to the top when I decided to just let go of the ladder.  I remember feeling very much at peace during the fall.  There was an 8’ x 10’ concrete slab at the bottom of the ladder and I knew it would all be over soon.  But, there was this little pile of silage on the concrete and that’s what I landed on.  I only got the wind knocked out of me - - but at least I avoided the abuse that day.\r\n\r\nThoughts of death were constantly in my mind from that day forward – Brick #4. I became hypervigilant.  I would watch and I would have to be aware of everything that took place in that house.  If my mother started to put on her makeup, I knew she would be leaving soon and I had better figure out my hiding place.  As soon as the car left the driveway, I would take off.  I would run in one direction and then as soon as I was out of sight, I would change course hoping that they wouldn’t be able to figure out which direction I took.  I would hide in cornfields, oat fields, the barn, the grainery, old rusted out cars out in the pasture.\r\n\r\nSometimes I was successful at hiding myself.  Other times I was not.  One time, I think I was about 8 years old, my hiding place was discovered.  But, this time, instead of suicide, I decided they would have to kill me.  So I turned into a wild animal.  I kicked, I screamed, I bit, I scratched, I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I hit.  It was no use.  They were much bigger and stronger than I was.  But I didn’t care.  They weren’t going to do that to me again. Anger and rage took over my whole being – Bricks 5 and 6. They dragged me into the house and into the bedroom but they couldn’t get me to stop kicking and screaming.  So, they put a pillow over my face until I passed out.  When I woke up, I was sitting in a fetal position in the corner of the room hugging that very same pillow. Now, you can add the brick called hate to my prison wall.\r\n\r\nAfter that, I started to have recurring nightmares about pillows that were so heavy I couldn’t lift them off me. The nightmares came almost every night. It was about this time that I would have to say that my spirit was broken.  There was no fight left in me.  My abusers could do pretty much anything to me and I didn’t respond.  It was as though I could separate my mind from my body. The clinical term for this is disassociation. I was 10 the next time I attempted suicide.  My family was at a lake and I decided I would swim out and just never come back.  The ironic thing is that one of my abusers saved me.  Saved me - - for what? Now add the brick of fatalism to the wall. I had no hope.\r\n\r\nWhen I was 12, the abuse finally stopped.  My abusers moved away.  And I remember deciding - - I actually decided - - to repress the memories and not let them affect me.  That was easier said than done.I started drinking when I was 14.  I got in with a pretty wild bunch of kids.  We drank every chance we got - - weeknights, weekends, it didn’t matter.  We were involved in vandalism and shoplifting. I was jealous and resentful toward anybody who had nice things.  Two more bricks were added to my prison wall. I remember a high speed chase from the police and a hit-and-run accident. Add rebellion to the bricks in the wall.\r\n\r\nI had no boundaries in my life, not with what was right or wrong, not with what was good or bad, not with alcohol, not with sex, not with anything.  Once, I even took the morning after pill. I don’t know if I was pregnant or not but you can add a big brick called guilt. When I was 15, I was at a party up on the bluffs overlooking Red Wing.  That night, I decided I could fly.  So I took off running toward the edge of the bluff.  One of my drinking buddies tackled me.  He brought me back to the party and gave me another beer. That’s just the way it was so you can add the alcoholism brick to the wall.  My wall was getting higher and higher.\r\n\r\nI married one of those kids from the wild bunch.  And we had three children (My three children were three bright spots in my otherwise dark existence.  They are three more people who know everything about me and love me anyway.)  But, shortly after that my mother was killed by a drunk driver and, since my father was ill, I took over the care, custody and control (or lack of control I should say) of my three younger siblings.  I was only 24 years old and with my background, I knew nothing about raising teenagers and they all ended up running away and getting into trouble.  Another brick:  failure.\r\n\r\nA couple of years later, my father died. Two more bricks - - grief and sorrow. All the while, the drinking continued.  I could kind of control it during the week because I had to go to work, but the weekends were blackouts. All the stressors (family, finances, alcohol, my history of abuse) were all affecting the marriage.  Neither one of us knew anything about marriage or what it’s supposed to be.  And that became abusive as well. I vowed I would never trust another man for the rest of my life.  My walls just kept getting higher and higher. Another brick - - divorce was added. Don’t forget that I was holding all the bricks together with the mortar of depression and despair and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid prison cell.\r\n\r\nNow, some of you may know this, but, if you’re a thirty-something female and you go to the doctor and you tell him or her that you’re depressed, you can get pretty much any pill you want - - and I had them all.  I would try to take them as directed, but, of course, no pill could get to the root of my problem so I would take a few and the rest would end up in the medicine cabinet.\r\n\r\nI was 32 (20 years from the time I decided to repress the memories) and the nightmares came back  - - with a vengeance.   I couldn’t handle it anymore  - -   The lack of sleep – the nightmares - the pain - the anguish.   The load I was carrying was too heavy.  I knew I could take those pills that I had stored up in the medicine cabinet and it would all be over.  I could just go to sleep and never wake up. But, you see, I was raised Catholic.  My dear mother had dragged me to church every Sunday.  And I remembered the priests and the nuns talking about a loving Father God but I had no experience of a loving male of any kind.  I remembered my catecism and I remembered that the Catholic Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you’d go to hell.\r\n\r\nThe thought crossed my mind - - if there is a hell - - maybe, just maybe - - could there be a heaven?  A tiny crack had appeared in that prison wall. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll give God one more chance.  Because you see, I had prayed when I was a little girl.  I prayed that God would save me from my abusers.  I prayed that He would just kill them.  But He never answered those prayers.  What would make me think that He would answer now? But I thought, okay, I’ll give it one more day.  If nothing changed in the next 24 hours, I made up my mind that I would take the pills.  So, I put the pills back in the medicine cabinet and then, I prayed - - really honestly prayed for the first time in my life.  I had nothing to lose.  I said, “God, if you’re there, and if you care, then you’re going to have to prove it to me because I really don’t believe in you.”\r\n\r\nNothing happened so I went back to bed.  I was afraid of the nightmares so I was not trying to go to sleep.  I just started repeating the Lord’s Prayer in my head over and over again.  Anything to keep my mind occupied.  Then, out of nowhere, this thought popped into my head.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  The thought was in the form of a question.  It was, “What would be proof to you?” How strange, I thought.  And then I started thinking about what would be proof to me?  Then another thought popped into my head.  I remembered that little sentence that I heard a thousand times in the Mass when my mother would drag me to church on Sundays.  For those of you raised Catholic, you’ll know this.  It was, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I will be healed.” That’s it, I said.  Because I knew that I was not worthy.  There was no question about that.  So, I said, “If you can make me worthy to receive you, then I will believe.”\r\n\r\nSuddenly, I felt like I was floating and I know my conscious mind was there and alert because I remember thinking, “Well, of course, you’re floating, you’re laying on a water bed.”  But, it wasn’t like that.  I was floating in the air.  Then, just as suddenly, I was upright and I was walking.  With each step it seemed like I was traveling 500,000 miles.  I remember looking back and I could see the world.  It was surrounded by these black boiling clouds with thunder and lightning and it looked very cold and foreboding. But I was heading toward a bright light that looked warm and welcoming.  So, I kept going in that direction. When I got closer to the light, I was enveloped in it and when I got to the source of the light, I saw a man standing there.  He was looking out across the horizon as if he was waiting for someone, expecting someone.  I knew who He was.  And, I thought, I can’t be here.  I didn’t take the pills.  How could I be here?  Then, I realized that I was on holy ground and I was most certainly not holy so I looked for a rock or anything that I could hide under so He wouldn’t see me.  But, there was nothing to hide under and I realized that I couldn’t stop.  It was as if something like a magnet was attached to me right here in the middle and it was pulling me towards Him.\r\n\r\nI got to within about 4 feet of Him and I finally stopped.  Then His eyes fell on me and it was as if He was looking inside me, not at me.  Then, my life started to pass before me kind of in the space between us and I knew He could see it too. It started from that day and went backwards, yet every incident, every event took place in forward motion.  At first I was fascinated by it.  I wondered who made such a complete video of my life and then I realized it was coming from inside me.  I began to see the negative things in my life.  I saw the depression and the pain.  I saw the failed marriage.  I saw my poor mother and her heart that I had broken.  I saw the affairs, the partying and the drinking.  I saw the vandalism and the stealing, the cheating, the lying.  I saw all the people that I had hurt.  And then I began to see the attempted suicides, the beatings and the abuse.  And then I was 4 years old again and I saw where it all started. Then, I heard a sound.  It started out small at first but it kept growing and growing until I had to cover my ears.  It was the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard and then I realized where the scream was coming from.  It was coming from me.  It was all the rage and the hate and the fear coming out of me.  I started to cry and I looked at Him because I wanted Him to make it stop.   But, He was crying too.  And, I realized what I had been doing.  I had been blaming Him for the abuse.  That shattered little girl had prayed to Him and He hadn’t put a stop to it.  But, it wasn’t His fault.  He was not to blame.\r\n\r\nI realized, looking at His tears, who was truly to blame.  It was the enemy.  The one who hates innocence, who hates goodness, the one who only comes to steal, kill and destroy.  As soon as I realized that, He held out His hands to me and I could see the nail marks in His hands and they weren’t healed.  I don’t know why but I guess I thought they would be healed after all this time but they weren’t.  And He was saying, “I did this for you.”  But, I said, “Why, I’m not worth it.” Then this look came across His face as if I had slapped Him or something. I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  “You don’t understand.” He said.  “Because I did it, that’s what makes you worthy.” Then I realized that I had it all backwards.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to be worthy.  The only thing that could make me worthy was Him and Him crucified.  And I realized in that instant that if I had been the only person in the whole entire world to accept Him, He still would have done it.\r\n\r\nThen it was as if blinders fell off my eyes and He let me see myself.  He let me see what He could see when He looked inside me.  He let me see what my sins had done to my soul.  I looked and I could see these horrible things attached to my body.  They were everywhere, hundreds of them.  Some were scabbed over and black and dried up like pieces of coal.  Some were oozing greenish-yellowish puss.  And some were bright red as if they had just erupted.  I was disgusting.  I tried to get them off me but I couldn’t.  They were part of me. It was these ugly things that drove Him to do what He did - - and I was so sorry.  I was so sorry.  I truly repented for the first time in my life. Once He sensed my repentance, He just raised His right hand ever so slightly and I was out.  I have read about being slain in the spirit and I think that is what happened to me.\r\n\r\nThe next thing I knew I was floating above my body.  I could see myself laying on an alter.  I don’t know how I got there, except He must have carried me.  And, He was standing alongside the alter and I could see Him pass His hand over me like this. At first I was confused.  I didn’t know what He was doing.  Then, I understood, my soul finally knew its worth.  I understood the depth of His love.  I understood that He was abused too but He didn’t fight back.  When they came for Him, He didn’t hide.  When they beat Him, He didn’t try to run.  When they spat on Him and put the crown of thorns on His head, He didn’t call them names.  When they hung Him on the cross, He didn’t strike them dead with lightning.  Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”\r\n\r\nSo, who was I to withhold forgiveness?  Suddenly, my abusers were not my abusers anymore.  They were my brothers and I realized that they had been abused too.  Not only were they forgiven but I wanted them to find this same love that I had found. I understood what I had done with all those bricks in my life- the shame, the hate, the fear, the anger, the rage, the resentment, the unforgiveness, the mistrust, the depression, the despair.  I had used them to build walls around my heart.  I thought they were protecting me but they only served to keep me from the Only One who could truly help me. At that moment, I understood why His wounds weren’t healed.  I understood what He was doing.  He was washing me with His blood.\r\n\r\nHe took my sins and He cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west and He will remember them no more - - so why should I - - why should you? You see, God wants to break down the brick walls that might be separating you from Him.  He wants to draw you near to Him and heal your wounds.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be closer than a brother, a sister or a spouse to you.  Will you let Him?\r\n\r\nYou see, here’s the thing . . . He wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  He wants you to have the same peace and joy and love that I have found.', 'Roseanne''s Testimony', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '7-revision-4', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:15:32', '2009-02-17 00:15:32', '', 7, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=12', 0, 'revision', '', 0);
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(13, 1, '2009-02-16 16:19:46', '2009-02-17 00:19:46', 'SUICIDE FACTS\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE TAKES OVER 30,000 AMERICAN LIVES EVERY YEAR\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE IS THE 11TH LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN THE U.S. FOR ALL AGES\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE IS THE 2ND LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN THE U.S. FOR 25-34 YEAR OLDS\r\n\r\n-MALES TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES AT NEARLY 4 TIMES THE RATE OF FEMALES\r\n\r\n-FOR ADULTS 65 YEARS AND OLDER, THERE IS 1 SUICIDE FOR EVERY 4 ATTEMPTS\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE RATES IN THE U.S. ARE HIGHEST IN THE SPRING\r\n\r\n-OVER HALF OF ALL SUICIDES ARE COMMITTED WITH A FIREARM\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nRISK FACTORS\r\n\r\n-THE STRONGEST RISK FACTOR FOR SUICIDE IS DEPRESSION\r\n\r\n-ALCOHOL OR DRUG ABUSE\r\n\r\n-PREVIOUS SUICIDE ATTEMPT(S)\r\n\r\n-PHYSICAL ILLNESS\r\n\r\n-FAMILY HISTORY OF SUICIDE OR VIOLENCE\r\n\r\n-HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS\r\n\r\n<!--[if gte mso 10]>\r\n<mce:style><!   /* Style Definitions */  table.MsoNormalTable 	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; 	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; 	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; 	mso-style-noshow:yes; 	mso-style-priority:99; 	mso-style-qformat:yes; 	mso-style-parent:""; 	mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; 	mso-para-margin-top:0in; 	mso-para-margin-right:0in; 	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; 	mso-para-margin-left:0in; 	line-height:115%; 	mso-pagination:widow-orphan; 	font-size:11.0pt; 	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; 	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; 	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; 	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; 	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}  >\r\n\r\n<! [endif] >\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Suicide Facts</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide takes over 30,000 American lives every year</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the u.s. for all ages</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the u.s. for 25-34 year olds</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Males take their own lives at nearly 4 times the rate of females</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">For adults 65 years and older, there is 1 suicide for every 4 attempts</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide rates in the u.s. are highest in the spring</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Over half of all suicides are committed with a firearm</span></li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="style1">\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Risk Factors</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression</span></li>\r\n	<li>A<span class="style2">lcohol or drug abuse</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">revious suicide attempt(s)</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">hysical illness</span></li>\r\n	<li>F<span class="style2">amily history of suicide or violence</span></li>\r\n	<li>H<span class="style2">istory of mental illnes</span>s</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="MsoNorma > <--></p>', 'Facts and Risk Factors', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'facts-and-risk-factors', '', '', '2009-06-10 07:34:18', '2009-06-10 15:34:18', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=13', 0, 'page', '', 0),
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	mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault 	{mso-style-type:export-only; 	margin-bottom:10.0pt; 	line-height:115%;} @page Section1 	{size:8.5in 11.0in; 	margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; 	mso-header-margin:.5in; 	mso-footer-margin:.5in; 	mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 	{page:Section1;} --&gt; <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>\n /* Style Definitions */\n table.MsoNormalTable\n	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";\n	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;\n	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;\n	mso-style-noshow:yes;\n	mso-style-priority:99;\n	mso-style-qformat:yes;\n	mso-style-parent:"";\n	mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;\n	mso-para-margin-top:0in;\n	mso-para-margin-right:0in;\n	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;\n	mso-para-margin-left:0in;\n	line-height:115%;\n	mso-pagination:widow-orphan;\n	font-size:11.0pt;\n	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";\n	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;\n	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;\n	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";\n	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;\n	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;\n	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}\n</style> <![endif]-->\n<p class="style1">Suicide Facts</p>\n<p class="style1">-<span class="style2">Suicide takes over 30,000 Smerican lives every year</span></p>\n<p class="style1">-<span class="style2">Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the u.s. for all ages</span></p>\n<p class="style1">-<span class="style2">Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the u.s. for 25-34 year olds</span></p>\n<p class="style1">-<span class="style2">Males take their own lives at nearly 4 times the rate of females</span></p>\n<p class="style1">-<span class="style2">For adults 65 years and older, there is 1 suicide for every 4 attempts</span></p>\n<p class="style1">-<span class="style2">Suicide rates in the u.s. are highest in the spring</span></p>\n<p class="style1">-<span class="style2">Over half of all suicides are committed with a firearm</span></p>\n<p class="style1"></p>\n<p class="style1"><strong>Risk Factors</strong></p>\n\n<ul>\n	<li><span class="style2">The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression</span></li>\n	<li>a<span class="style2">lcohol or drug abuse</span></li>\n	<li>-<span class="style2">previous suicide attempt(s)</span></li>\n	<li>-<span class="style2">physical illness</span></li>\n	<li>-<span class="style2">family history of suicide or violence</span></li>\n	<li>-<span class="style2">history of mental illnes</span>s</li>\n</ul>\n<p class="MsoNormal"></p>', 'Facts and Risk Factors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '13-revision', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:19:07', '2009-02-17 00:19:07', '', 13, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=14', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
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	mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault 	{mso-style-type:export-only; 	margin-bottom:10.0pt; 	line-height:115%;} @page Section1 	{size:8.5in 11.0in; 	margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; 	mso-header-margin:.5in; 	mso-footer-margin:.5in; 	mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 	{page:Section1;} --&gt; <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>\r\n /* Style Definitions */\r\n table.MsoNormalTable\r\n	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";\r\n	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;\r\n	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;\r\n	mso-style-noshow:yes;\r\n	mso-style-priority:99;\r\n	mso-style-qformat:yes;\r\n	mso-style-parent:"";\r\n	mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;\r\n	mso-para-margin-top:0in;\r\n	mso-para-margin-right:0in;\r\n	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;\r\n	mso-para-margin-left:0in;\r\n	line-height:115%;\r\n	mso-pagination:widow-orphan;\r\n	font-size:11.0pt;\r\n	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";\r\n	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;\r\n	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;\r\n	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";\r\n	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;\r\n	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;\r\n	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}\r\n</style> <![endif]-->\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Suicide Facts</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide takes over 30,000 Smerican lives every year</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the u.s. for all ages</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the u.s. for 25-34 year olds</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Males take their own lives at nearly 4 times the rate of females</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">For adults 65 years and older, there is 1 suicide for every 4 attempts</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide rates in the u.s. are highest in the spring</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Over half of all suicides are committed with a firearm</span></li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="style1"></p>\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Risk Factors</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression</span></li>\r\n	<li>A<span class="style2">lcohol or drug abuse</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">revious suicide attempt(s)</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">hysical illness</span></li>\r\n	<li>F<span class="style2">amily history of suicide or violence</span></li>\r\n	<li>H<span class="style2">istory of mental illnes</span>s</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="MsoNormal"></p>', 'Facts and Risk Factors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '13-revision-2', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:19:46', '2009-02-17 00:19:46', '', 13, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=15', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
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SemiHidden="false"    UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title" /> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography" /> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading" /> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]>\r\n<mce:style><!   /* Style Definitions */  table.MsoNormalTable 	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; 	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; 	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; 	mso-style-noshow:yes; 	mso-style-priority:99; 	mso-style-qformat:yes; 	mso-style-parent:""; 	mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; 	mso-para-margin-top:0in; 	mso-para-margin-right:0in; 	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; 	mso-para-margin-left:0in; 	line-height:115%; 	mso-pagination:widow-orphan; 	font-size:11.0pt; 	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; 	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; 	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; 	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; 	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} -->\r\n\r\n<!--[endif]-->\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Suicide Facts</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide takes over 30,000 Smerican lives every year</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the u.s. for all ages</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the u.s. for 25-34 year olds</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Males take their own lives at nearly 4 times the rate of females</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">For adults 65 years and older, there is 1 suicide for every 4 attempts</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide rates in the u.s. are highest in the spring</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Over half of all suicides are committed with a firearm</span></li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="style1"></p>\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Risk Factors</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression</span></li>\r\n	<li>A<span class="style2">lcohol or drug abuse</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">revious suicide attempt(s)</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">hysical illness</span></li>\r\n	<li>F<span class="style2">amily history of suicide or violence</span></li>\r\n	<li>H<span class="style2">istory of mental illnes</span>s</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="MsoNormal"></p>', 'Facts and Risk Factors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '13-revision-3', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:20:31', '2009-02-17 00:20:31', '', 13, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=16', 0, 'revision', '', 0);
INSERT INTO `wp_posts` VALUES
(17, 1, '2009-02-16 16:16:10', '2009-02-17 00:16:10', '<p><img style="float:right; padding:10px;" src="http://suicidehelplines.org/rosannepicture.jpg" alt="Roseanne" />My name is Rosanne and  I love to give my testimony, because I get to talk about Him - Jesus - The Lamb of God. My testimony can be summed up by Rev. 12:11 which states, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony."When you read this, you should know that I was married once before when I was very young and when I talk about a marriage in this document, I’m talking about my first marriage - - not my current marriage.”</p>\r\n<p>I have talked to many people who can’t seem to remember their early childhood.  My early years are indelibly etched in my mind.  In fact, I’ve asked God to let me repress the memories again like I did for about 20 years but He said, “No, I have healed your wounds, but I leave the scars so that you might be recognized by those who are still wounded.  Statistics tell us that in the general population, about 45% of all women have been abused in some way.  In prison, that number doubles - -  90% of the women in prison have survived some type of abuse.</p>\r\n<p>Now . . . I know . . . that children should be raised in an environment of love and nurturing and they should learn to trust - - but I wasn’t raised that way.The first time I was raped I was 4 years old.  That’s when fear entered my life for the first time and the first brick of my self-made prison was put in place. There were hundreds of attacks spanning more than 8 years of my young life.</p>\r\n<p>I think the most devastating thing about child abuse is that the victim carries the shame.  I could have been the poster child for shame and low self-esteem – bricks #2 and 3. I was seven years old the first time I tried to commit suicide.  My abusers threw some horse blankets over my shoulders and they forced me to climb to the top of the silo on the farm where I grew up.  I knew what was going to happen to me once I got to the top.  I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it was one of those times when your mind is saying one thing but your body is doing the opposite.  I was climbing, but my mind was screaming, “No.”  I was almost to the top when I decided to just let go of the ladder.  I remember feeling very much at peace during the fall.  There was an 8’ x 10’ concrete slab at the bottom of the ladder and I knew it would all be over soon.  But, there was this little pile of silage on the concrete and that’s what I landed on.  I only got the wind knocked out of me - - but at least I avoided the abuse that day.</p>\r\n<p>Thoughts of death were constantly in my mind from that day forward – Brick #4. I became hypervigilant.  I would watch and I would have to be aware of everything that took place in that house.  If my mother started to put on her makeup, I knew she would be leaving soon and I had better figure out my hiding place.  As soon as the car left the driveway, I would take off.  I would run in one direction and then as soon as I was out of sight, I would change course hoping that they wouldn’t be able to figure out which direction I took.  I would hide in cornfields, oat fields, the barn, the grainery, old rusted out cars out in the pasture.</p>\r\n<p>Sometimes I was successful at hiding myself.  Other times I was not.  One time, I think I was about 8 years old, my hiding place was discovered.  But, this time, instead of suicide, I decided they would have to kill me.  So I turned into a wild animal.  I kicked, I screamed, I bit, I scratched, I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I hit.  It was no use.  They were much bigger and stronger than I was.  But I didn’t care.  They weren’t going to do that to me again. Anger and rage took over my whole being – Bricks 5 and 6. They dragged me into the house and into the bedroom but they couldn’t get me to stop kicking and screaming.  So, they put a pillow over my face until I passed out.  When I woke up, I was sitting in a fetal position in the corner of the room hugging that very same pillow. Now, you can add the brick called hate to my prison wall.</p>\r\n<p>After that, I started to have recurring nightmares about pillows that were so heavy I couldn’t lift them off me. The nightmares came almost every night. It was about this time that I would have to say that my spirit was broken.  There was no fight left in me.  My abusers could do pretty much anything to me and I didn’t respond.  It was as though I could separate my mind from my body. The clinical term for this is disassociation. I was 10 the next time I attempted suicide.  My family was at a lake and I decided I would swim out and just never come back.  The ironic thing is that one of my abusers saved me.  Saved me - - for what? Now add the brick of fatalism to the wall. I had no hope.</p>\r\n<p>When I was 12, the abuse finally stopped.  My abusers moved away.  And I remember deciding - - I actually decided - - to repress the memories and not let them affect me.  That was easier said than done.I started drinking when I was 14.  I got in with a pretty wild bunch of kids.  We drank every chance we got - - weeknights, weekends, it didn’t matter.  We were involved in vandalism and shoplifting. I was jealous and resentful toward anybody who had nice things.  Two more bricks were added to my prison wall. I remember a high speed chase from the police and a hit-and-run accident. Add rebellion to the bricks in the wall.</p>\r\n<p>I had no boundaries in my life, not with what was right or wrong, not with what was good or bad, not with alcohol, not with sex, not with anything.  Once, I even took the morning after pill. I don’t know if I was pregnant or not but you can add a big brick called guilt. When I was 15, I was at a party up on the bluffs overlooking Red Wing.  That night, I decided I could fly.  So I took off running toward the edge of the bluff.  One of my drinking buddies tackled me.  He brought me back to the party and gave me another beer. That’s just the way it was so you can add the alcoholism brick to the wall.  My wall was getting higher and higher.</p>\r\n<p>I married one of those kids from the wild bunch.  And we had three children (My three children were three bright spots in my otherwise dark existence.  They are three more people who know everything about me and love me anyway.)  But, shortly after that my mother was killed by a drunk driver and, since my father was ill, I took over the care, custody and control (or lack of control I should say) of my three younger siblings.  I was only 24 years old and with my background, I knew nothing about raising teenagers and they all ended up running away and getting into trouble.  Another brick:  failure.</p>\r\n<p>A couple of years later, my father died. Two more bricks - - grief and sorrow. All the while, the drinking continued.  I could kind of control it during the week because I had to go to work, but the weekends were blackouts. All the stressors (family, finances, alcohol, my history of abuse) were all affecting the marriage.  Neither one of us knew anything about marriage or what it’s supposed to be.  And that became abusive as well. I vowed I would never trust another man for the rest of my life.  My walls just kept getting higher and higher. Another brick - - divorce was added. Don’t forget that I was holding all the bricks together with the mortar of depression and despair and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid prison cell.</p>\r\n<p>Now, some of you may know this, but, if you’re a thirty-something female and you go to the doctor and you tell him or her that you’re depressed, you can get pretty much any pill you want - - and I had them all.  I would try to take them as directed, but, of course, no pill could get to the root of my problem so I would take a few and the rest would end up in the medicine cabinet.</p>\r\n<p>I was 32 (20 years from the time I decided to repress the memories) and the nightmares came back  - - with a vengeance.   I couldn’t handle it anymore  - -   The lack of sleep – the nightmares - the pain - the anguish.   The load I was carrying was too heavy.  I knew I could take those pills that I had stored up in the medicine cabinet and it would all be over.  I could just go to sleep and never wake up. But, you see, I was raised Catholic.  My dear mother had dragged me to church every Sunday.  And I remembered the priests and the nuns talking about a loving Father God but I had no experience of a loving male of any kind.  I remembered my catecism and I remembered that the Catholic Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin and if you die with a mortal sin on your soul, you’d go to hell.</p>\r\n<p>The thought crossed my mind - - if there is a hell - - maybe, just maybe - - could there be a heaven?  A tiny crack had appeared in that prison wall. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll give God one more chance.  Because you see, I had prayed when I was a little girl.  I prayed that God would save me from my abusers.  I prayed that He would just kill them.  But He never answered those prayers.  What would make me think that He would answer now? But I thought, okay, I’ll give it one more day.  If nothing changed in the next 24 hours, I made up my mind that I would take the pills.  So, I put the pills back in the medicine cabinet and then, I prayed - - really honestly prayed for the first time in my life.  I had nothing to lose.  I said, “God, if you’re there, and if you care, then you’re going to have to prove it to me because I really don’t believe in you.”</p>\r\n<p>Nothing happened so I went back to bed.  I was afraid of the nightmares so I was not trying to go to sleep.  I just started repeating the Lord’s Prayer in my head over and over again.  Anything to keep my mind occupied.  Then, out of nowhere, this thought popped into my head.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  The thought was in the form of a question.  It was, “What would be proof to you?” How strange, I thought.  And then I started thinking about what would be proof to me?  Then another thought popped into my head.  I remembered that little sentence that I heard a thousand times in the Mass when my mother would drag me to church on Sundays.  For those of you raised Catholic, you’ll know this.  It was, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I will be healed.” That’s it, I said.  Because I knew that I was not worthy.  There was no question about that.  So, I said, “If you can make me worthy to receive you, then I will believe.”</p>\r\n<p>Suddenly, I felt like I was floating and I know my conscious mind was there and alert because I remember thinking, “Well, of course, you’re floating, you’re laying on a water bed.”  But, it wasn’t like that.  I was floating in the air.  Then, just as suddenly, I was upright and I was walking.  With each step it seemed like I was traveling 500,000 miles.  I remember looking back and I could see the world.  It was surrounded by these black boiling clouds with thunder and lightning and it looked very cold and foreboding. But I was heading toward a bright light that looked warm and welcoming.  So, I kept going in that direction. When I got closer to the light, I was enveloped in it and when I got to the source of the light, I saw a man standing there.  He was looking out across the horizon as if he was waiting for someone, expecting someone.  I knew who He was.  And, I thought, I can’t be here.  I didn’t take the pills.  How could I be here?  Then, I realized that I was on holy ground and I was most certainly not holy so I looked for a rock or anything that I could hide under so He wouldn’t see me.  But, there was nothing to hide under and I realized that I couldn’t stop.  It was as if something like a magnet was attached to me right here in the middle and it was pulling me towards Him.</p>\r\n<p>I got to within about 4 feet of Him and I finally stopped.  Then His eyes fell on me and it was as if He was looking inside me, not at me.  Then, my life started to pass before me kind of in the space between us and I knew He could see it too. It started from that day and went backwards, yet every incident, every event took place in forward motion.  At first I was fascinated by it.  I wondered who made such a complete video of my life and then I realized it was coming from inside me.  I began to see the negative things in my life.  I saw the depression and the pain.  I saw the failed marriage.  I saw my poor mother and her heart that I had broken.  I saw the affairs, the partying and the drinking.  I saw the vandalism and the stealing, the cheating, the lying.  I saw all the people that I had hurt.  And then I began to see the attempted suicides, the beatings and the abuse.  And then I was 4 years old again and I saw where it all started. Then, I heard a sound.  It started out small at first but it kept growing and growing until I had to cover my ears.  It was the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard and then I realized where the scream was coming from.  It was coming from me.  It was all the rage and the hate and the fear coming out of me.  I started to cry and I looked at Him because I wanted Him to make it stop.   But, He was crying too.  And, I realized what I had been doing.  I had been blaming Him for the abuse.  That shattered little girl had prayed to Him and He hadn’t put a stop to it.  But, it wasn’t His fault.  He was not to blame.</p>\r\n<p>I realized, looking at His tears, who was truly to blame.  It was the enemy.  The one who hates innocence, who hates goodness, the one who only comes to steal, kill and destroy.  As soon as I realized that, He held out His hands to me and I could see the nail marks in His hands and they weren’t healed.  I don’t know why but I guess I thought they would be healed after all this time but they weren’t.  And He was saying, “I did this for you.”  But, I said, “Why, I’m not worth it.” Then this look came across His face as if I had slapped Him or something. I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  “You don’t understand.” He said.  “Because I did it, that’s what makes you worthy.” Then I realized that I had it all backwards.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to be worthy.  The only thing that could make me worthy was Him and Him crucified.  And I realized in that instant that if I had been the only person in the whole entire world to accept Him, He still would have done it.</p>\r\n<p>Then it was as if blinders fell off my eyes and He let me see myself.  He let me see what He could see when He looked inside me.  He let me see what my sins had done to my soul.  I looked and I could see these horrible things attached to my body.  They were everywhere, hundreds of them.  Some were scabbed over and black and dried up like pieces of coal.  Some were oozing greenish-yellowish puss.  And some were bright red as if they had just erupted.  I was disgusting.  I tried to get them off me but I couldn’t.  They were part of me. It was these ugly things that drove Him to do what He did - - and I was so sorry.  I was so sorry.  I truly repented for the first time in my life. Once He sensed my repentance, He just raised His right hand ever so slightly and I was out.  I have read about being slain in the spirit and I think that is what happened to me.</p>\r\n<p>The next thing I knew I was floating above my body.  I could see myself laying on an alter.  I don’t know how I got there, except He must have carried me.  And, He was standing alongside the alter and I could see Him pass His hand over me like this. At first I was confused.  I didn’t know what He was doing.  Then, I understood, my soul finally knew its worth.  I understood the depth of His love.  I understood that He was abused too but He didn’t fight back.  When they came for Him, He didn’t hide.  When they beat Him, He didn’t try to run.  When they spat on Him and put the crown of thorns on His head, He didn’t call them names.  When they hung Him on the cross, He didn’t strike them dead with lightning.  Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”</p>\r\n<p>So, who was I to withhold forgiveness?  Suddenly, my abusers were not my abusers anymore.  They were my brothers and I realized that they had been abused too.  Not only were they forgiven but I wanted them to find this same love that I had found. I understood what I had done with all those bricks in my life- the shame, the hate, the fear, the anger, the rage, the resentment, the unforgiveness, the mistrust, the depression, the despair.  I had used them to build walls around my heart.  I thought they were protecting me but they only served to keep me from the Only One who could truly help me. At that moment, I understood why His wounds weren’t healed.  I understood what He was doing.  He was washing me with His blood.</p>\r\n<p>He took my sins and He cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west and He will remember them no more - - so why should I - - why should you? You see, God wants to break down the brick walls that might be separating you from Him.  He wants to draw you near to Him and heal your wounds.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be closer than a brother, a sister or a spouse to you.  Will you let Him?</p>\r\n<p>You see, here’s the thing . . . He wants to do the same thing for you that He did for me.  He wants you to have the same peace and joy and love that I have found.</p>\r\n', 'Rosenne''s Testimony', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '7-revision-5', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:16:10', '2009-02-17 00:16:10', '', 7, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=17', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(18, 1, '2009-02-18 11:47:46', '2009-02-18 19:47:46', 'TERMS OF USE FOR www.suicidehelpline.org\r\n\r\nWelcome to www.suicidehelpline.org, a division of lovelines.org. If you continue to browse and use this website you are agreeing to comply with and be bound by the following terms and conditions of use, which together with our privacy policy govern Suicide Helplines or Love Lines relationship with you in relation to this website.\r\n\r\nThe term “Suicide Helplines” or "Love Lines" or “us” or “we” refers to the owner of the website. The term “you” refers to the user or viewer of our website.\r\n\r\nThe use of this website is subject to the following terms of use:\r\n\r\nThe content of the pages of this website is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice.\r\n\r\nNeither we nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this website for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law.\r\n\r\nYour use of any information or materials on this website is entirely at your own risk, for which we shall not be liable. It shall be your own responsibility to ensure that any products, services or information available through this website meet your specific requirements.\r\n\r\nThis website contains material which is owned by or licensed to us. This material includes, but is not limited to, the design, layout, look, appearance and graphics. Reproduction is prohibited other than in accordance with the copyright notice, which forms part of these terms and conditions.\r\n\r\nAll trademarks reproduced in this website, which are not the property of, or licensed to the operator, are acknowledged on the website.\r\n\r\nUnauthorized use of this website may give to a claim for damages and/or be a criminal offense.\r\n\r\nFrom time to time this website may also include links to other websites. These links are provided for your convenience to provide further information. They do not signify that we endorse the website(s). We have no responsibility for the content of the linked website(s).\r\n\r\nYour use of this website and any dispute arising out of such use of the website is subject to the laws of United States of America.\r\n\r\nREVISIONS TO THIS WEBSITE TERMS OF USE WITHOUT NOTICE\r\n\r\nThis TERMS OF USE for www.suicidehelpline.org is dynamic. It will continually change. You may not assume that it remains the same and you agree to check the policy each time you visit the site for changes. Unless, in the sole opinion of the website, this policy changes so drastically as to suggest a posted notification on the site or via email, you will receive no notification of changes to this TERMS AND CONDITIONS for www.suicidehelpline.org nor, under any circumstances, does this site promise notification. Your continued use of this site always evidences your acceptance of the TERMS AND CONDITIONS for www.suicidehelpline.org or any modifications.\r\n\r\nLATEST UPDATE\r\n\r\nThis TERMS OF USE for www.suicidehelpline.org was last updated on: Feb 18, 2009', 'Terms And Conditions', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'terms-and-conditions', '', '', '2009-02-23 08:26:39', '2009-02-23 16:26:39', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=18', 5, 'page', '', 0),
(19, 1, '2009-02-18 11:47:36', '2009-02-18 19:47:36', '', 'Terms And Conditions', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '18-revision', '', '', '2009-02-18 11:47:36', '2009-02-18 19:47:36', '', 18, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=19', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(20, 1, '2009-02-18 11:49:01', '2009-02-18 19:49:01', 'PRIVACY POLICY FOR www.suicidehelplines.org\r\n\r\nThis privacy policy sets out how “www.suicidehelplines.org” uses and protects any information that you give “www.suicidehelplines.org” when you use this website.\r\n\r\n“www.suicidehelplines.org” is committed to ensuring that your privacy is protected. Should we ask you to provide certain information by which you can be identified when using this website, then you can be assured that it will only be used in accordance with this privacy statement.\r\n\r\n“www.suicidehelplines.org” may change this policy from time to time by updating this page. You should check this page from time to time to ensure that you are happy with any changes. This policy is effective from February 18, 2009.\r\n\r\nWHAT WE COLLECT\r\n\r\nWe may collect the following information:\r\n\r\nName, Email Address, Phone Numbers, Demographic information such as postcode, preferences and interests, Information relevant to customer surveys and/or offers.\r\n\r\nWhat we do with the information we gather\r\n\r\nWe require this information to understand your needs and provide you with a better service, and in particular for the following reasons:\r\n\r\nInternal record keeping.\r\n\r\nWe may use the information to improve our products and services.\r\n\r\nWe may periodically send promotional email about new products, special offers or other information which we think you may find interesting using the email address which you have provided.\r\n\r\nFrom time to time, we may also use your information to contact you for market research purposes. We may contact you by email, phone, fax or mail.\r\n\r\nWe may use the information to customize the website according to your interests.\r\nSecurity\r\n\r\nWe are committed to ensuring that your information is secure. In order to prevent unauthorized access or disclosure we have put in place suitable physical, electronic and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect online.\r\nHow we use cookies\r\n\r\nA cookie is a small file which asks permission to be placed on your computer''s hard drive. Once you agree, the file is added and the cookie helps analyze web traffic or lets you know when you visit a particular site. Cookies allow web applications to respond to you as an individual. The web application can tailor its operations to your needs, likes and dislikes by gathering and remembering information about your preferences.\r\n\r\nWe use traffic log cookies to identify which pages are being used. This helps us analyze data about web page traffic and improve our website in order to tailor it to customer needs. We only use this information for statistical analysis purposes and then the data is removed from the system.\r\n\r\nOverall, cookies help us provide you with a better website, by enabling us to monitor which pages you find useful and which you do not. A cookie in no way gives us access to your computer or any information about you, other than the data you choose to share with us.\r\n\r\nYou can choose to accept or decline cookies. Most web browsers automatically accept cookies, but you can usually modify your browser setting to decline cookies if you prefer. This may prevent you from taking full advantage of the website.\r\n\r\nLINKS TO OTHER WEBSITES\r\n\r\nOur website may contain links to enable you to visit other websites of interest easily. However, once you have used these links to leave our site, you should note that we do not have any control over that other website. Therefore, we cannot be responsible for the protection and privacy of any information which you provide whilst visiting such sites and such sites are not governed by this privacy statement. You should exercise caution and look at the privacy statement applicable to the website in question.\r\n\r\nYOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION\r\n\r\nWe will not sell, distribute or lease your personal information to third parties unless we have your permission or are required by law. We may use your personal information to send you promotional information about third parties which we think you may find interesting if you tell us that you wish this to happen.\r\n\r\nYou may request details of personal information which we hold about you under the Data Protection Act 1998. A small fee will be payable. If you would like a copy of the information held on you please contact us.\r\n\r\nIf you believe that any information we are holding on you is incorrect or incomplete, please write to or email us as soon as possible, at the above address. We will promptly correct any information found to be incorrect.\r\n\r\nQUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR REPORT OF INCIDENTS\r\n\r\nYou may direct questions, comments or reports to:\r\n\r\nby filling out our contact us form.\r\n\r\nREVISIONS TO THIS PRIVACY POLICY WITHOUT NOTICE\r\n\r\nThis Privacy Policy is dynamic. It will continually change. You may not assume that it remains the same and you agree to check the policy each time you visit the site for changes. Unless, in the sole opinion of the website, this policy changes so drastically as to suggest a posted notification on the site or via email, you will receive no notification of changes to this Privacy Policy nor, under any circumstances, does this site promise notification. Your continued use of this site always evidences your acceptance of the terms this Privacy Policy or any modifications.\r\n\r\nLATEST UPDATE\r\n\r\nThis Privacy Policy was last updated on: February 18, 2009', 'Privacy Policy', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'privacy-policy', '', '', '2009-02-23 08:27:23', '2009-02-23 16:27:23', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=20', 10, 'page', '', 0),
(21, 1, '2009-02-18 11:50:16', '2009-02-18 19:50:16', 'PRIVACY POLICY FOR www.suicidehelplines.org\n\nThis privacy policy sets out how “www.suicidehelplines.org” uses and protects any information that you give “www.suicidehelplines.org” when you use this website.\n\n“www.suicidehelplines.org” is committed to ensuring that your privacy is protected. Should we ask you to provide certain information by which you can be identified when using this website, then you can be assured that it will only be used in accordance with this privacy statement.\n\n“www.suicidehelplines.org” may change this policy from time to time by updating this page. You should check this page from time to time to ensure that you are happy with any changes. This policy is effective from February 18, 2009.\n\nWHAT WE COLLECT\n\nWe may collect the following information:\n\nName, Email Address, Phone Numbers, Demographic information such as postcode, preferences and interests, Information relevant to customer surveys and/or offers.\n\nWhat we do with the information we gather\n\nWe require this information to understand your needs and provide you with a better service, and in particular for the following reasons:\n\nInternal record keeping.\n\nWe may use the information to improve our products and services.\n\nWe may periodically send promotional email about new products, special offers or other information which we think you may find interesting using the email address which you have provided.\n\nFrom time to time, we may also use your information to contact you for market research purposes. We may contact you by email, phone, fax or mail.\n\nWe may use the information to customize the website according to your interests.\nSecurity\n\nWe are committed to ensuring that your information is secure. In order to prevent unauthorized access or disclosure we have put in place suitable physical, electronic and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect online.\nHow we use cookies\n\nA cookie is a small file which asks permission to be placed on your computer''s hard drive. Once you agree, the file is added and the cookie helps analyze web traffic or lets you know when you visit a particular site. Cookies allow web applications to respond to you as an individual. The web application can tailor its operations to your needs, likes and dislikes by gathering and remembering information about your preferences.\n\nWe use traffic log cookies to identify which pages are being used. This helps us analyze data about web page traffic and improve our website in order to tailor it to customer needs. We only use this information for statistical analysis purposes and then the data is removed from the system.\n\nOverall, cookies help us provide you with a better website, by enabling us to monitor which pages you find useful and which you do not. A cookie in no way gives us access to your computer or any information about you, other than the data you choose to share with us.\n\nYou can choose to accept or decline cookies. Most web browsers automatically accept cookies, but you can usually modify your browser setting to decline cookies if you prefer. This may prevent you from taking full advantage of the website.\n\nLINKS TO OTHER WEBSITES\n\nOur website may contain links to enable you to visit other websites of interest easily. However, once you have used these links to leave our site, you should note that we do not have any control over that other website. Therefore, we cannot be responsible for the protection and privacy of any information which you provide whilst visiting such sites and such sites are not governed by this privacy statement. You should exercise caution and look at the privacy statement applicable to the website in question.\n\nYOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION\n\nWe will not sell, distribute or lease your personal information to third parties unless we have your permission or are required by law. We may use your personal information to send you promotional information about third parties which we think you may find interesting if you tell us that you wish this to happen.\n\nYou may request details of personal information which we hold about you under the Data Protection Act 1998. A small fee will be payable. If you would like a copy of the information held on you please contact us.\n\nIf you believe that any information we are holding on you is incorrect or incomplete, please write to or email us as soon as possible, at the above address. We will promptly correct any information found to be incorrect.\n\nQUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR REPORT OF INCIDENTS\n\nYou may direct questions, comments or reports to:\n\nby filling out our contact us form.\n\nREVISIONS TO THIS PRIVACY POLICY WITHOUT NOTICE\n\nThis Privacy Policy is dynamic. It will continually change. You may not assume that it remains the same and you agree to check the policy each time you visit the site for changes. Unless, in the sole opinion of the website, this policy changes so drastically as to suggest a posted notification on the site or via email, you will receive no notification of changes to this Privacy Policy nor, under any circumstances, does this site promise notification. Your continued use of this site always evidences your acceptance of the terms this Privacy Policy or any modifications.\n\nLATEST UPDATE\n\nThis Privacy Policy was last updated on: February 18, 2009', 'Privacy Policy', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '20-autosave', '', '', '2009-02-18 11:50:16', '2009-02-18 19:50:16', '', 20, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=21', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(22, 1, '2009-02-18 11:47:46', '2009-02-18 19:47:46', 'TERMS OF USE FOR www.suicidehelpline.org\r\n\r\nWelcome to www.suicidehelpline.org, a division of lovelines.org. If you continue to browse and use this website you are agreeing to comply with and be bound by the following terms and conditions of use, which together with our privacy policy govern Suicide Helplines or Love Lines relationship with you in relation to this website.\r\n\r\nThe term “Suicide Helplines” or "Love Lines" or “us” or “we” refers to the owner of the website. The term “you” refers to the user or viewer of our website.\r\n\r\nThe use of this website is subject to the following terms of use:\r\n\r\nThe content of the pages of this website is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice.\r\n\r\nNeither we nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this website for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law.\r\n\r\nYour use of any information or materials on this website is entirely at your own risk, for which we shall not be liable. It shall be your own responsibility to ensure that any products, services or information available through this website meet your specific requirements.\r\n\r\nThis website contains material which is owned by or licensed to us. This material includes, but is not limited to, the design, layout, look, appearance and graphics. Reproduction is prohibited other than in accordance with the copyright notice, which forms part of these terms and conditions.\r\n\r\nAll trademarks reproduced in this website, which are not the property of, or licensed to the operator, are acknowledged on the website.\r\n\r\nUnauthorized use of this website may give to a claim for damages and/or be a criminal offense.\r\n\r\nFrom time to time this website may also include links to other websites. These links are provided for your convenience to provide further information. They do not signify that we endorse the website(s). We have no responsibility for the content of the linked website(s).\r\n\r\nYour use of this website and any dispute arising out of such use of the website is subject to the laws of United States of America.\r\n\r\nREVISIONS TO THIS WEBSITE TERMS OF USE WITHOUT NOTICE\r\n\r\nThis TERMS OF USE for www.suicidehelpline.org is dynamic. It will continually change. You may not assume that it remains the same and you agree to check the policy each time you visit the site for changes. Unless, in the sole opinion of the website, this policy changes so drastically as to suggest a posted notification on the site or via email, you will receive no notification of changes to this TERMS AND CONDITIONS for www.suicidehelpline.org nor, under any circumstances, does this site promise notification. Your continued use of this site always evidences your acceptance of the TERMS AND CONDITIONS for www.suicidehelpline.org or any modifications.\r\n\r\nLATEST UPDATE\r\n\r\nThis TERMS OF USE for www.suicidehelpline.org was last updated on: Feb 18, 2009', 'Terms And Conditions', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '18-revision-2', '', '', '2009-02-18 11:47:46', '2009-02-18 19:47:46', '', 18, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=22', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(23, 1, '2009-02-18 11:49:01', '2009-02-18 19:49:01', 'PRIVACY POLICY FOR www.suicidehelplines.org\r\n\r\nThis privacy policy sets out how “www.suicidehelplines.org” uses and protects any information that you give “www.suicidehelplines.org” when you use this website.\r\n\r\n“www.suicidehelplines.org” is committed to ensuring that your privacy is protected. Should we ask you to provide certain information by which you can be identified when using this website, then you can be assured that it will only be used in accordance with this privacy statement.\r\n\r\n“www.suicidehelplines.org” may change this policy from time to time by updating this page. You should check this page from time to time to ensure that you are happy with any changes. This policy is effective from February 18, 2009.\r\n\r\nWHAT WE COLLECT\r\n\r\nWe may collect the following information:\r\n\r\nName, Email Address, Phone Numbers, Demographic information such as postcode, preferences and interests, Information relevant to customer surveys and/or offers.\r\n\r\nWhat we do with the information we gather\r\n\r\nWe require this information to understand your needs and provide you with a better service, and in particular for the following reasons:\r\n\r\nInternal record keeping.\r\n\r\nWe may use the information to improve our products and services.\r\n\r\nWe may periodically send promotional email about new products, special offers or other information which we think you may find interesting using the email address which you have provided.\r\n\r\nFrom time to time, we may also use your information to contact you for market research purposes. We may contact you by email, phone, fax or mail.\r\n\r\nWe may use the information to customize the website according to your interests.\r\nSecurity\r\n\r\nWe are committed to ensuring that your information is secure. In order to prevent unauthorized access or disclosure we have put in place suitable physical, electronic and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect online.\r\nHow we use cookies\r\n\r\nA cookie is a small file which asks permission to be placed on your computer''s hard drive. Once you agree, the file is added and the cookie helps analyze web traffic or lets you know when you visit a particular site. Cookies allow web applications to respond to you as an individual. The web application can tailor its operations to your needs, likes and dislikes by gathering and remembering information about your preferences.\r\n\r\nWe use traffic log cookies to identify which pages are being used. This helps us analyze data about web page traffic and improve our website in order to tailor it to customer needs. We only use this information for statistical analysis purposes and then the data is removed from the system.\r\n\r\nOverall, cookies help us provide you with a better website, by enabling us to monitor which pages you find useful and which you do not. A cookie in no way gives us access to your computer or any information about you, other than the data you choose to share with us.\r\n\r\nYou can choose to accept or decline cookies. Most web browsers automatically accept cookies, but you can usually modify your browser setting to decline cookies if you prefer. This may prevent you from taking full advantage of the website.\r\n\r\nLINKS TO OTHER WEBSITES\r\n\r\nOur website may contain links to enable you to visit other websites of interest easily. However, once you have used these links to leave our site, you should note that we do not have any control over that other website. Therefore, we cannot be responsible for the protection and privacy of any information which you provide whilst visiting such sites and such sites are not governed by this privacy statement. You should exercise caution and look at the privacy statement applicable to the website in question.\r\n\r\nYOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION\r\n\r\nWe will not sell, distribute or lease your personal information to third parties unless we have your permission or are required by law. We may use your personal information to send you promotional information about third parties which we think you may find interesting if you tell us that you wish this to happen.\r\n\r\nYou may request details of personal information which we hold about you under the Data Protection Act 1998. A small fee will be payable. If you would like a copy of the information held on you please contact us.\r\n\r\nIf you believe that any information we are holding on you is incorrect or incomplete, please write to or email us as soon as possible, at the above address. We will promptly correct any information found to be incorrect.\r\n\r\nQUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR REPORT OF INCIDENTS\r\n\r\nYou may direct questions, comments or reports to:\r\n\r\nby filling out our contact us form.\r\n\r\nREVISIONS TO THIS PRIVACY POLICY WITHOUT NOTICE\r\n\r\nThis Privacy Policy is dynamic. It will continually change. You may not assume that it remains the same and you agree to check the policy each time you visit the site for changes. Unless, in the sole opinion of the website, this policy changes so drastically as to suggest a posted notification on the site or via email, you will receive no notification of changes to this Privacy Policy nor, under any circumstances, does this site promise notification. Your continued use of this site always evidences your acceptance of the terms this Privacy Policy or any modifications.\r\n\r\nLATEST UPDATE\r\n\r\nThis Privacy Policy was last updated on: February 18, 2009', 'Privacy Policy', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '20-revision', '', '', '2009-02-18 11:49:01', '2009-02-18 19:49:01', '', 20, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=23', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(24, 1, '2009-02-23 08:48:12', '2009-02-23 16:48:12', '<h2>Need someone to talk to?</h2>\r\nCaring counselors are available to speak with you 20 hours a day\r\n\r\nour office hours are M - F 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM\r\n\r\n(612) 379-1199\r\nLove Lines Crisis Center\r\n2855 Anthony Lane South, Suite 115\r\nSt Anthony, MN 55418\r\n\r\nIf you would like to contact a counselor by email, send an email to<em><strong> counselor@lovelines.org</strong></em> and a trained counselor will\r\ncontact you as we get them, thanks for your patience!', 'Contact Us', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'contact-us', '', '', '2018-05-26 10:45:12', '2018-05-26 18:45:12', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=24', 5, 'page', '', 0),
(25, 1, '2009-02-23 08:48:09', '2009-02-23 16:48:09', '<h2>Need someone to talk to?</h2>\nCaring counselors are available to speak with you 24 hours a day\n\n(612) 379-1199\nLove Lines Crisis Center\n2535 Central Avenue NE\nMinneapolis, MN  55418', 'Contact Us', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '24-revision-v1', '', '', '2009-02-23 08:48:09', '2009-02-23 16:48:09', '', 24, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=25', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(26, 1, '2009-02-23 08:52:45', '2009-02-23 16:52:45', '<h2>Suicide Potential Survey</h2>\r\n<strong>A. Nature of the suicide plan</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Vague idea &amp; no weapon</li>\r\n	<li>A weak plan</li>\r\n	<li>Some specific, realistic plan</li>\r\n	<li>Complete plan with some details</li>\r\n	<li> Complete plan with lethal details and weapon included</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>B. Prior attempts</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>None, is only talking about it now</li>\r\n	<li>Some past threats</li>\r\n	<li>Numerous past ineffectual attempts</li>\r\n	<li>None, but threatens lethal attempt now</li>\r\n	<li>Has made lethal attempts in past</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>C. Mood</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Not healthy, but improves</li>\r\n	<li>Controlled, matter of fact</li>\r\n	<li>Partially controlled, but has bursts of extreme emotion</li>\r\n	<li>Little control of mood, only moderate ups and downs</li>\r\n	<li>Extreme depression, possibly with bursts of screams</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>D. Suicide weapon</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Mentions suicide, cannot explain how</li>\r\n	<li>Specifies suicide but doesn’t have the means available</li>\r\n	<li>Has barely adequate idea with the means available</li>\r\n	<li>Wants to overdose, cut wrists, or inhale  gas and has the means</li>\r\n	<li>Wants to shoot self, hang self, or jump and has the means at  hand</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>E. Contact with humanity</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Has family, friends&amp; job</li>\r\n	<li>Has family and job, but no friends</li>\r\n	<li>Has friends and job, but no family</li>\r\n	<li>Has only family or friends for social contact</li>\r\n	<li>Has no social contact</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>F. Age and sex</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Young woman</li>\r\n	<li>Young man</li>\r\n	<li>Middle age person</li>\r\n	<li>Older woman</li>\r\n	<li>Older man</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>G. Loss of a loved one</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>No such loss incurred or  upcoming</li>\r\n	<li>Possibility of such a loss</li>\r\n	<li>Loved one has been lost, but doesn’t seem to be the chief concern</li>\r\n	<li>Loss has occurred or will and you are upset</li>\r\n	<li>Loss has taken place or will and you are very upset</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>H. Medical problems</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>None</li>\r\n	<li>General or vague physical complaints</li>\r\n	<li>Serious physical symptoms,  hope for cure</li>\r\n	<li>Serious medical symptoms, no hope for cure</li>\r\n	<li>Older person, serious medical symptoms</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n\r\n<p>\r\nTotal points together that you circled and then divide by eight. This will give you your average score.  If the average score is 2 or higher, contact a mental health professional and discuss your problem with someone you can trust.  If your average score is 3.5 or higher, please contact us immediately.</p>', 'Take The Survey', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'take-the-survey', '', '', '2009-02-23 09:06:23', '2009-02-23 17:06:23', '', 0, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=26', 0, 'page', '', 0),
(27, 1, '2009-02-23 08:51:49', '2009-02-23 16:51:49', '<h2>Suicide Potential Survey</h2>\n\n<strong>A. Nature of the suicide plan</strong>\nVague idea & no weapon\nA weak plan \nSome specific, realistic plan\n', 'Take The Survey', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '26-revision', '', '', '2009-02-23 08:51:49', '2009-02-23 16:51:49', '', 26, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=27', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(28, 1, '2009-03-25 07:42:27', '2009-03-25 15:42:27', '<h2>Suicide Potential Survey</h2>\n<strong>A. Nature of the suicide plan</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>Vague idea &amp; no weapon</li>\n	<li>A weak plan</li>\n	<li>Some specific, realistic plan</li>\n	<li>Complete plan with some details</li>\n	<li>Complete plan with lethal details and weapon included</li>\n</ol>\n<strong>B. Prior attempts</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>None, is only talking about it now</li>\n	<li>Some past threats</li>\n	<li>Numerous past ineffectual attempts</li>\n	<li>None, but threatens lethal attempt now</li>\n	<li>Has made lethal attempts in past</li>\n</ol>\n<strong>C. Mood</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>Not healthy, but improves</li>\n	<li>Controlled, matter of fact</li>\n	<li>Partially controlled, but has bursts of extreme emotion</li>\n	<li>Little control of mood, only moderate ups and downs</li>\n	<li>Extreme depression, possibly with bursts of screams</li>\n</ol>\n<strong>D. Suicide weapon</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>Mentions suicide, cannot explain how</li>\n	<li>Specifies suicide but doesn’t have the means available</li>\n	<li>Has barely adequate idea with the means available</li>\n	<li>Wants to overdose, cut wrists, or inhale gas and has the means</li>\n	<li>Wants to shoot self, hang self, or jump and has the means at hand</li>\n</ol>\n<strong>E. Contact with humanity</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>Has family, friends&amp; job</li>\n	<li>Has family and job, but no friends</li>\n	<li>Has friends and job, but no family</li>\n	<li>Has only family or friends for social contact</li>\n	<li>Has no social contact</li>\n</ol>\n<strong>F. Age and sex</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>Young woman</li>\n	<li>Young man</li>\n	<li>Middle age person</li>\n	<li>Older woman</li>\n	<li>Older man</li>\n</ol>\n<strong>G. Loss of a loved one</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>No such loss incurred or upcoming</li>\n	<li>Possibility of such a loss</li>\n	<li>Loved one has been lost, but doesn’t seem to be the chief concern</li>\n	<li>Loss has occurred or will and you are upset</li>\n	<li>Loss has taken place or will and you are very upset</li>\n</ol>\n<strong>H. Medical problems</strong>\n<ol>\n	<li>None</li>\n	<li>General or vague physical complaints</li>\n	<li>Serious physical symptoms, hope for cure</li>\n	<li>Serious medical symptoms, no hope for cure</li>\n	<li>Older person, serious medical symptoms</li>\n</ol>\nTotal points together that you circled and then divide by eight. This will give you your average score. If the average score is 2 or higher, contact a mental health professional and discuss your problem with someone you can trust. If your average score is 3.5 or higher, please contact us immediately.', 'Take The Survey', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '26-autosave', '', '', '2009-03-25 07:42:27', '2009-03-25 15:42:27', '', 26, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=28', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(29, 1, '2009-02-23 08:52:45', '2009-02-23 16:52:45', '<h2>Suicide Potential Survey</h2>\r\n\r\n<strong>A. Nature of the suicide plan</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\nVague idea & no weapon\r\nA weak plan \r\nSome specific, realistic plan\r\nComplete plan with some details\r\nComplete plan with lethal details and weapon included</ol>\r\n\r\n\r\n', 'Take The Survey', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '26-revision-2', '', '', '2009-02-23 08:52:45', '2009-02-23 16:52:45', '', 26, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=29', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(30, 1, '2009-02-23 08:48:12', '2009-02-23 16:48:12', '<h2>Need someone to talk to?</h2>\r\nCaring counselors are available to speak with you 24 hours a day\r\n\r\n(612) 379-1199\r\nLove Lines Crisis Center\r\n2535 Central Avenue NE\r\nMinneapolis, MN  55418', 'Contact Us', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '24-revision-v1', '', '', '2009-02-23 08:48:12', '2009-02-23 16:48:12', '', 24, 'http://dev.suicidehelplines.org/?p=30', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(31, 1, '2009-02-16 15:58:05', '2009-02-16 23:58:05', '<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Emergency help (USA) - 911</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style6">www.save.org</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">952-946-7998</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Suicide Prevention Center</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">612-347-2222</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">1-800-273-8255</span></p>', 'Links', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '5-revision-v1', '', '', '2009-02-16 15:58:05', '2009-02-16 23:58:05', '', 5, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=31', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(32, 1, '2009-06-10 07:35:30', '2009-06-10 15:35:30', 'SUICIDE FACTS\n\n-SUICIDE TAKES OVER 30,000 AMERICAN LIVES EVERY YEAR\n\n-SUICIDE IS THE 11TH LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN THE U.S. FOR ALL AGES\n\n-SUICIDE IS THE 2ND LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN THE U.S. FOR 25-34 YEAR OLDS\n\n-MALES TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES AT NEARLY 4 TIMES THE RATE OF FEMALES\n\n-FOR ADULTS 65 YEARS AND OLDER, THERE IS 1 SUICIDE FOR EVERY 4 ATTEMPTS\n\n-SUICIDE RATES IN THE U.S. ARE HIGHEST IN THE SPRING\n\n-OVER HALF OF ALL SUICIDES ARE COMMITTED WITH A FIREARM\n\n \n\nRISK FACTORS\n\n-THE STRONGEST RISK FACTOR FOR SUICIDE IS DEPRESSION\n\n-ALCOHOL OR DRUG ABUSE\n\n-PREVIOUS SUICIDE ATTEMPT(S)\n\n-PHYSICAL ILLNESS\n\n-FAMILY HISTORY OF SUICIDE OR VIOLENCE\n\n-HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS\n\n<!--[if gte mso 10]>\n<mce:style><!   /* Style Definitions */  table.MsoNormalTable 	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; 	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; 	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; 	mso-style-noshow:yes; 	mso-style-priority:99; 	mso-style-qformat:yes; 	mso-style-parent:""; 	mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; 	mso-para-margin-top:0in; 	mso-para-margin-right:0in; 	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; 	mso-para-margin-left:0in; 	line-height:115%; 	mso-pagination:widow-orphan; 	font-size:11.0pt; 	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; 	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; 	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; 	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; 	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}  >\n\n<! [endif] >\n<p class="style1"><strong>Suicide Facts</strong></p>\n\n<ul>\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide takes over 30,000 American lives every year</span></li>\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the u.s. for all ages</span></li>\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the u.s. for 25-34 year olds</span></li>\n	<li><span class="style2">Males take their own lives at nearly 4 times the rate of females</span></li>\n	<li><span class="style2">For adults 65 years and older, there is 1 suicide for every 4 attempts</span></li>\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide rates in the u.s. are highest in the spring</span></li>\n	<li><span class="style2">Over half of all suicides are committed with a firearm</span></li>\n</ul>\n<p class="style1">\n<p class="style1"><strong>Risk Factors</strong></p>\n\n<ul>\n	<li><span class="style2">The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression</span></li>\n	<li>A<span class="style2">lcohol or drug abuse</span></li>\n	<li>P<span class="style2">revious suicide attempt(s)</span></li>\n	<li>P<span class="style2">hysical illness</span></li>\n	<li>F<span class="style2">amily history of suicide or violence</span></li>\n	<li>H<span class="style2">istory of mental illnes</span>s</li>\n</ul>\n<p class="MsoNorma > < ><--></p>', 'Facts and Risk Factors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '13-autosave', '', '', '2009-06-10 07:35:30', '2009-06-10 15:35:30', '', 13, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=32', 0, 'revision', '', 0);
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SemiHidden="false"    UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title" /> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography" /> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading" /> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]>\r\n<mce:style><!   /* Style Definitions */  table.MsoNormalTable 	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; 	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; 	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; 	mso-style-noshow:yes; 	mso-style-priority:99; 	mso-style-qformat:yes; 	mso-style-parent:""; 	mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; 	mso-para-margin-top:0in; 	mso-para-margin-right:0in; 	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; 	mso-para-margin-left:0in; 	line-height:115%; 	mso-pagination:widow-orphan; 	font-size:11.0pt; 	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; 	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; 	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; 	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; 	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} -->\r\n\r\n<!--[endif]-->\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Suicide Facts</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide takes over 30,000 American lives every year</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the u.s. for all ages</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the u.s. for 25-34 year olds</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Males take their own lives at nearly 4 times the rate of females</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">For adults 65 years and older, there is 1 suicide for every 4 attempts</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide rates in the u.s. are highest in the spring</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Over half of all suicides are committed with a firearm</span></li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="style1"></p>\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Risk Factors</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression</span></li>\r\n	<li>A<span class="style2">lcohol or drug abuse</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">revious suicide attempt(s)</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">hysical illness</span></li>\r\n	<li>F<span class="style2">amily history of suicide or violence</span></li>\r\n	<li>H<span class="style2">istory of mental illnes</span>s</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="MsoNormal"></p>', 'Facts and Risk Factors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '13-revision-4', '', '', '2009-02-16 16:20:57', '2009-02-17 00:20:57', '', 13, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=33', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(34, 1, '2009-06-10 07:33:12', '2009-06-10 15:33:12', 'SUICIDE FACTS\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE TAKES OVER 30,000 AMERICAN LIVES EVERY YEAR\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE IS THE 11TH LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN THE U.S. FOR ALL AGES\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE IS THE 2ND LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN THE U.S. FOR 25-34 YEAR OLDS\r\n\r\n-MALES TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES AT NEARLY 4 TIMES THE RATE OF FEMALES\r\n\r\n-FOR ADULTS 65 YEARS AND OLDER, THERE IS 1 SUICIDE FOR EVERY 4 ATTEMPTS\r\n\r\n-SUICIDE RATES IN THE U.S. ARE HIGHEST IN THE SPRING\r\n\r\n-OVER HALF OF ALL SUICIDES ARE COMMITTED WITH A FIREARM\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nRISK FACTORS\r\n\r\n-THE STRONGEST RISK FACTOR FOR SUICIDE IS DEPRESSION\r\n\r\n-ALCOHOL OR DRUG ABUSE\r\n\r\n-PREVIOUS SUICIDE ATTEMPT(S)\r\n\r\n-PHYSICAL ILLNESS\r\n\r\n-FAMILY HISTORY OF SUICIDE OR VIOLENCE\r\n\r\n-HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESs\r\n\r\n<!--[if gte mso 10]>\r\n<mce:style><!   /* Style Definitions */  table.MsoNormalTable 	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; 	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; 	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; 	mso-style-noshow:yes; 	mso-style-priority:99; 	mso-style-qformat:yes; 	mso-style-parent:""; 	mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; 	mso-para-margin-top:0in; 	mso-para-margin-right:0in; 	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; 	mso-para-margin-left:0in; 	line-height:115%; 	mso-pagination:widow-orphan; 	font-size:11.0pt; 	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; 	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; 	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; 	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; 	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; 	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}  >\r\n\r\n<! [endif] >\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Suicide Facts</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide takes over 30,000 American lives every year</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the u.s. for all ages</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the u.s. for 25-34 year olds</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Males take their own lives at nearly 4 times the rate of females</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">For adults 65 years and older, there is 1 suicide for every 4 attempts</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Suicide rates in the u.s. are highest in the spring</span></li>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">Over half of all suicides are committed with a firearm</span></li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="style1">\r\n<p class="style1"><strong>Risk Factors</strong></p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li><span class="style2">The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression</span></li>\r\n	<li>A<span class="style2">lcohol or drug abuse</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">revious suicide attempt(s)</span></li>\r\n	<li>P<span class="style2">hysical illness</span></li>\r\n	<li>F<span class="style2">amily history of suicide or violence</span></li>\r\n	<li>H<span class="style2">istory of mental illnes</span>s</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<p class="MsoNorma--> </p>', 'Facts and Risk Factors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '13-revision-5', '', '', '2009-06-10 07:33:12', '2009-06-10 15:33:12', '', 13, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=34', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(36, 1, '2009-02-16 15:41:43', '2009-02-16 23:41:43', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!</p>', '24 Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-2', '', '', '2009-02-16 15:41:43', '2009-02-16 23:41:43', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=36', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(37, 1, '2009-12-16 06:44:03', '2009-12-16 14:44:03', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!</p>\r\n<p class="style2" style="text-align: center;"><strong><a href="http://www.lovelines.org/?page_id=286">HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS</a></strong></p>', '24 Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-3', '', '', '2009-12-16 06:44:03', '2009-12-16 14:44:03', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=37', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(38, 1, '2011-07-12 07:48:50', '2011-07-12 15:48:50', 'Courtney called in contemplating suicide the police were called. Courtney called back about two hours later and talked to a different counselor. Courtney was still very emotional when she called back but after talking to a counselor who was calm and reassuring, she had calmed down by the end of the call Courtney had received the infilling of the Holy Spirit, was full of peace and thanked the counselor. The unscheduled  counselor was in the right place at the right time.\r\n<h3><strong>Life Changed</strong></h3>\r\n<strong>A caller</strong> was suicidal and thinking she needed to die for the past twenty years. This caller is a college student. She was also going to have sugary for cervix cancer the next day and thought God was punishing her for being a horrible  person. John 10:10 set her free! ” Jesus is the healer of the broken heart and the wounded spirit” the caller changed her mind about jumping in front of a train. Instead she decided to rededicate her life to Jesus Christ  as her personal Lord and Savior! There was a total change before getting off the phone.', 'Testimonies', '', 'publish', 'closed', 'open', '', 'testimonies', '', '', '2011-11-25 07:45:16', '2011-11-25 15:45:16', '', 0, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?page_id=38', 0, 'page', '', 0),
(39, 1, '2011-07-12 07:48:15', '2011-07-12 15:48:15', 'Courtney called in contemplating suicide the police were called. Courtney called back about two hours later and talked to a different counselor. Courtney was still very emotional when she called back but after talking to a counselor who was calm and reassuring, by the end of the call Courtney had received the infilling of the Holy Spirit, was full of peace and thanked the counselor.', 'Testimonies ', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '38-revision', '', '', '2011-07-12 07:48:15', '2011-07-12 15:48:15', '', 38, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=39', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(40, 1, '2011-07-12 07:48:27', '2011-07-12 15:48:27', 'Courtney called in contemplating suicide the police were called. Courtney called back about two hours later and talked to a different counselor. Courtney was still very emotional when she called back but after talking to a counselor who was calm and reassuring, by the end of the call Courtney had received the infilling of the Holy Spirit, was full of peace and thanked the counselor.', 'Testimonies ', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '38-revision-2', '', '', '2011-07-12 07:48:27', '2011-07-12 15:48:27', '', 38, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=40', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(41, 1, '2012-10-18 20:18:51', '2012-10-19 04:18:51', 'Courtney called in contemplating suicide the police were called. Courtney called back about two hours later and talked to a different counselor. Courtney was still very emotional when she called back but after talking to a counselor who was calm and reassuring, she had calmed down by the end of the call Courtney had received the infilling of the Holy Spirit, was full of peace and thanked the counselor. The unscheduled  counselor was in the right place at the right time.\n<h3><strong>Life Changed</strong></h3>\n<strong>A caller</strong> was suicidal and thinking she needed to die for the past twenty years. This caller is a college student. She was also going to have sugary for cervix cancer the next day and thought God was punishing her for being a horrible  person. John 10:10 set her free! ” Jesus is the healer of the broken heart and the wounded spirit” the caller changed her mind about jumping in front of a train. Instead she decided to rededicate her life to Jesus Christ  as her personal Lord and Savior! There was a total change before getting off the phone.', 'Testimonies', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '38-autosave', '', '', '2012-10-18 20:18:51', '2012-10-19 04:18:51', '', 38, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=41', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(42, 1, '2011-07-12 07:48:50', '2011-07-12 15:48:50', 'Courtney called in contemplating suicide the police were called. Courtney called back about two hours later and talked to a different counselor. Courtney was still very emotional when she called back but after talking to a counselor who was calm and reassuring, by the end of the call Courtney had received the infilling of the Holy Spirit, was full of peace and thanked the counselor.', 'Testimonies ', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '38-revision-3', '', '', '2011-07-12 07:48:50', '2011-07-12 15:48:50', '', 38, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=42', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(43, 1, '2011-07-12 08:00:36', '2011-07-12 16:00:36', 'Courtney called in contemplating suicide the police were called. Courtney called back about two hours later and talked to a different counselor. Courtney was still very emotional when she called back but after talking to a counselor who was calm and reassuring, she had calmed down by the end of the call Courtney had received the infilling of the Holy Spirit, was full of peace and thanked the counselor. The unscheduled  counselor was in the right place at the right time.', 'Testimonies', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '38-revision-4', '', '', '2011-07-12 08:00:36', '2011-07-12 16:00:36', '', 38, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=43', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(44, 1, '2010-01-27 10:53:39', '2010-01-27 18:53:39', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!</p>', '24 Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-4', '', '', '2010-01-27 10:53:39', '2010-01-27 18:53:39', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=44', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(45, 1, '2009-02-23 09:07:47', '2009-02-23 17:07:47', '<h2>Need someone to talk to?</h2>\r\nCaring counselors are available to speak with you 24 hours a day\r\n\r\n(612) 379-1199\r\nLove Lines Crisis Center\r\n2535 Central Avenue NE\r\nMinneapolis, MN  55418', 'Contact Us', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '24-revision-v1', '', '', '2009-02-23 09:07:47', '2009-02-23 17:07:47', '', 24, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=45', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(46, 1, '2012-04-27 09:41:59', '2012-04-27 17:41:59', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!</p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-5', '', '', '2012-04-27 09:41:59', '2012-04-27 17:41:59', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=46', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(47, 1, '2012-10-18 20:06:19', '2012-10-19 04:06:19', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!                                                       <strong> 612-359-1199</strong></p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-6', '', '', '2012-10-18 20:06:19', '2012-10-19 04:06:19', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=47', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(48, 1, '2012-10-18 20:07:59', '2012-10-19 04:07:59', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!                                      CALL             <strong> 612-359-1199</strong></p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-7', '', '', '2012-10-18 20:07:59', '2012-10-19 04:07:59', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=48', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(49, 1, '2012-10-18 20:09:17', '2012-10-19 04:09:17', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!                                      CALL             <strong> 612-379-1199</strong></p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-8', '', '', '2012-10-18 20:09:17', '2012-10-19 04:09:17', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=49', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(50, 1, '2012-10-26 11:03:44', '2012-10-26 19:03:44', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">"It is God who works in you both to will and do for you His good pleasure."  Phil 2:13  You are special!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!                                      CALL             <strong> 612-379-1199</strong></p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-9', '', '', '2012-10-26 11:03:44', '2012-10-26 19:03:44', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=50', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(51, 1, '2012-12-07 08:55:25', '2012-12-07 16:55:25', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">"It is God who works in you both to will and do for you His good pleasure."  Phil 2:13  You are special!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!                                      CALL             <strong> <span style="color: #33cccc;">612-379-1199</span></strong></p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-10', '', '', '2012-12-07 08:55:25', '2012-12-07 16:55:25', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=51', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(52, 1, '2012-12-07 08:55:59', '2012-12-07 16:55:59', '<p class="style6" style="text-align: left;"><strong>NEED HELP? (612-379-1199)</strong></p>\r\n<p class="style2">Are you feeling sad, lonely, depressed and hopeless? Do you feel that no one cares and suicide is your only answer?</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Suicide is not the answer to your problems! The answer to all the negative things you are feeling is faith in Jesus Christ. Love Lines has trained counselors who care about you and want to pray with you right now!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">We believe that you are precious in God''s eyes. The bible says that you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (PS 139:14). And, God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call Love Lines right now and let us stand with you in prayer.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Jesus taught that death and despair are the work of Satan. He is a "thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy" John 10:10. Please don''t believe the lies Satan tells you about yourself. He is a "liar" and the "father of lies" John 8:44.</p>\r\n<p class="style2">"It is God who works in you both to will and do for you His good pleasure."  Phil 2:13  You are special!</p>\r\n<p class="style2">Call right now and let us pray with you!                                      CALL             <strong> <span style="color: #33cccc;">612-379-1199</span></strong></p>', '2O Hour Prayer Conselors', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '3-revision-11', '', '', '2012-12-07 08:55:59', '2012-12-07 16:55:59', '', 3, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?p=52', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
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(66, 3, '2015-06-21 15:31:44', '2015-06-21 23:31:44', '<h2>Need someone to talk to?</h2>\r\nCaring counselors are available to speak with you 20 hours a day\r\n\r\nour office hours are M - F 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM\r\n\r\n(612) 379-1199\r\nLove Lines Crisis Center\r\n2855 Anthony Lane South, Suite 115\r\nSt Anthony, MN 55418\r\n\r\nIf you would like to speak with one of Love Lines trained counselors\r\nvia email only fill out form below and a counselor will contact you\r\nas we get them, thanks for your patience!\r\n[contact-form-7 id="60" title="Contact form 2"]', 'Contact Us', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'open', '', '24-revision-v1', '', '', '2015-06-21 15:31:44', '2015-06-21 23:31:44', '', 24, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/24-revision-v1/', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
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(68, 3, '2009-06-10 07:30:20', '2009-06-10 15:30:20', '<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Emergency help (USA) - 911</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style6"><a href="http://www.save.org">www.save.org</a></span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">952-946-7998</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Suicide Prevention Center</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">612-347-2222</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">1-800-273-8255</span></p>', 'Links', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'closed', '', '5-revision-v1', '', '', '2009-06-10 07:30:20', '2009-06-10 15:30:20', '', 5, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/5-revision-v1/', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(69, 3, '2016-08-27 09:35:38', '2016-08-27 17:35:38', '<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Emergency help (USA) - 911</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">Suicide Prevention Center</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">612-347-2222</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;">---------------------------------------------------------</p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline</span></p>\r\n<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="style7">1-800-273-8255</span></p>', 'Links', '', 'inherit', 'closed', 'closed', '', '5-revision-v1', '', '', '2016-08-27 09:35:38', '2016-08-27 17:35:38', '', 5, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/5-revision-v1/', 0, 'revision', '', 0),
(70, 3, '2018-05-26 10:41:38', '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '<p>\n<strong>New Resource: WordPress and GDPR Compliance (in Plain English)</strong><br />\nAre you confused by GDPR, and how it will impact your WordPress site? We have gotten dozens of emails from users asking us to explain GDPR in plain English and share tips on how to make your WordPress site GDPR compliant. So we created an ultimate guide to explain everything you need to know about GDPR and WordPress (without the complex legal jargon).\n</p>\n<p><a href="http://www.wpbeginner.com/beginners-guide/the-ultimate-guide-to-wordpress-and-gdpr-compliance-everything-you-need-to-know/?utm_source=wpdashboard&#038;utm_medium=amnotification&#038;utm_campaign=gdprguide" target="_blank" class="button button-primary">Read our WordPress and GDPR Compliance Guide &raquo;</a></p>\n<p>\nSyed Balkhi<br />\nFounder of WPBeginner and MonsterInsights</p>\n', '', '', 'draft', 'closed', 'closed', '', '', '', '', '2018-05-26 10:41:38', '0000-00-00 00:00:00', '', 0, 'http://suicidehelplines.org/?post_type=amn_mi-lite&p=70', 0, 'amn_mi-lite', '', 0),
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-- --------------------------------------------------------

--
-- Table structure for table `wp_users`
--

CREATE TABLE `wp_users` (
  `ID` bigint(20) unsigned NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
  `user_login` varchar(60) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
  `user_pass` varchar(255) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
  `user_nicename` varchar(50) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
  `user_email` varchar(100) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
  `user_url` varchar(100) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
  `user_registered` datetime NOT NULL DEFAULT '0000-00-00 00:00:00',
  `user_activation_key` varchar(255) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
  `user_status` int(11) NOT NULL DEFAULT '0',
  `display_name` varchar(250) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',
  PRIMARY KEY (`ID`),
  KEY `user_login_key` (`user_login`),
  KEY `user_nicename` (`user_nicename`),
  KEY `user_email` (`user_email`)
) ENGINE=InnoDB  DEFAULT CHARSET=utf8;

--
-- Dumping data for table `wp_users`
--

INSERT INTO `wp_users` VALUES
(1, 'admin', '$P$BrgY6qwQz/v7iTkXGWG9DhsPApevZp.', 'admin', 'don@pcs-hosting.net', '', '2009-02-16 23:03:11', '', 0, 'admin'),
(2, 'rutledgeda', '$P$BXUeEDc/wXX8VmYJIVU5xIUJG49FBO0', 'Don Rutledge', 'drutledge@pro-consulting.com', 'http://', '2015-01-01 19:00:00', '', 0, 'Don Rutledge'),
(3, 'lovedir2', '$P$BMCc8Z2jmxzJomkku3lVN8yciyqZaz1', 'lovedir2', 'Athena@lovelines.org', '', '2015-04-16 03:20:21', '', 0, 'Athena Holmer');

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